How do you thank someone whose only fatherly act was to donate the sperm to bring a child into the world? I tried and tried to say something sweet about just such an individual,something charitable,all week long. I thought, I must be slipping, not to be able to find a few words to put on a card that would make it personal and speak of a connection, other than,have a nice day, to my male biological parent. I know there are many children out there that were conceived in love, but once the child was born, or shortly thereafter,for some strange reason, the man was disenchanted with the mother and his child,and went off to other pastures.
I was lucky enough to have a Mother and Father who stayed together, raised their children in a basically happy home, and there was no problem finding cards and gifts to give.
But what do you do when the grown child has to be reminded to send a card,and finally says, you pick out the card, and I'll sign it?
Not just for Father's day, but for birthdays, and holidays too.
Kind of reminds you of the song " Cats in the cradle," doesn't it, where the father has no time for the kid,and when he grows up, the kid has no time for the Father.
"And as we hung up it occurred to me, my son was just like me, yeah, my son was just like me..."
So, I guess there should be no surprises all the way around, because it is true, that what you put into a relationship, is what you get back from it.
And no matter how one wishes it could be different, one cannot cause affection to exist between two people who should love one another,and yet...through years of neglect, what might have been a close, natural bond, now has perished. Can one blame the child, who has spent years shedding tears, every time a movie or television show, or a book has depicted a loving relationship between a father and son;who has heard nothing from his father, year after year on his birthday or on holidays? And the mother watches her child's heartbreak,with fresh heartbreak of her own, and with no way to mend it,time after time.
No. Love can not be forced, required, or insisted upon,but it should come naturally from father to son,and thereby, freely given from son to father. Otherwise, it is only an expression of, " I wish I could love you,but have a nice day, anyway."
OUI?
Comments