While watching television over the week-end, I happened to catch a commercial that featured a a lone figure and it's dog wandering through a snowy woods together, and was immediately swept away to a time when that figure was me.
From about the year I turned 13 on, once the round of parties were winding down,and the Christmas Eve presents were opened and we had attended church services in our new outfits we had received on that day,Christmas day actually dwindled into a day full of feast making and prayer, or carols around the piano,while the smells of the Ham or Turkey wafted through the house, and trying to make small talk with my parents friends who dropped in, or with my sister's boyfriend, or my brother's girlfriend. Well, small talk has never been my forte, and adult chit-chat and gossip basically bored me to tears. No one wanted to talk about things that matter.So, as soon as possible, I would slip away by myself,change out of my finery into a pair of rugged cords and a sweatshirt, boots and a parka, and taking Honey quietly out the back door, we went for a walk in the woods.My dog and I knew every inch of those woods, and even draped in winter's frosting, we strayed along those winter paths, often breaking trail for others who did not know their way as well. It was there we would go to breathe deep of the fresh cold air, and sit watching on fallen logs as bunnies and squirrels dashed past into their lairs and warrens,and cardinals and blue Jays dived and sent their sweet or raucous calls letting us know they wanted the left-over popcorn or bread crusts that I would bring along for just such an event. Honey would bark excitedly and dash towards all and sundry, but being still on her leash, she and I both knew she was just showing bravado, and having a bit of exercise. I would talk to her and she would give every indication that she hung on every word.And it was on those walks that I would talk to God. I marveled,and praised his creation.Enjoying the falling snow, and even trying to catch snowflakes on my tongue,I would fall into big soft drifts,and make snow angels and thank the Father for the fun and the beauty of it all. Then, just for a little while, we would walk quietly and in silence turn towards home.And always the lights of home would be there, just at the end of the path, shining forth at the picture window was our Christmas tree,and next to that our baby grand piano,and though they couldn't see me, coming out of the depths of the woods, I could see my family and friends grouped around, toasting with egg nog while they sang carols and laughed, and mother would be sitting there, playing the piano...
I don't really know why I did that.There was just something about a big party scene at home that got to me,and made me want to be off, alone. Away from the noise and confusion of music that changed from room to room, and everyone talking at once that got on my nerves,and taking Honey for a walk was an escape, a tremendous relief. But then, when I returned, home was such a welcome sight, I would hurry into the house where it was warm and happy,put Honey in the basement, and change back into my party outfit,and rejoin the group. Lest you think I outgrew that attitude, I still do that today. When company comes, if they stay a long while, sooner or later, I shall have to find a way to be by myself for a while, just to regain my calm inner self. And, it's not that I don't like people. I love people. But I also cherish a chance to be alone. To think. To dream. To make that connection with the still small voice inside of me, every day.
OUI?
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