Neither is fat and ugly! Just because some Valley girl coined the phrase, "you can't be too rich or too thin" who by the way has probably died of anorexia since those words were first spoken,doesn't mean that a husky girl is unlovable, or that a large man is not worth the time of day. Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but I just followed a referrer back to page after page of blogs, devoted entirely to topics like, " Do I look fat to you in these jeans?"Some were apparently written by people who perceived themselves as fat, and others disparaging fatness. I went through several pages, wondering when I could have done a blog that fit in with this group, because I honestly don't recall ever doing so. I finally quit at page 25. Now, I have been rich,and I have been poor, and I have also been underweight, and I have been overweight, and I infinitely preferred the times when I was well off,and well fed. Strangely, one state had little to do with the other. Except, when I was on the lowest rung of the financial totem pole, we ate differently than when we were flush. When you are low income, you find yourself just trying to fix meals that will stretch. Pasta, potatoes, rice, beans. All of which are both filling,and cheap, and will put the weight on.When you are hungry, you will eat whatever is available, so your not so picky about vegetables. You may want a nice fresh crisp salad, but if the only thing in your pantry is green beans,butter beans,or kidney beans,and a box of mac & cheese, you will probably opt for the mac and cheese, and some beans, and if there is no fruit in the house, but you want something sweet for a dessert, you will end up with cake. On the other had, when you aren't going through money shortages, it is easy to stay on a healthy diet, because it isn't a problem to obtain steak, salad, and a baked potato,with a big gorgeous fruit plate with strawberries, bananas, oranges, and kiwi on it, with a cup of yogurt for dipping on the side, for dessert.
Don't tell me that this doesn't happen in America anymore, because I know better. I've been there. I know from experience that once the larder is down,and you have few choices left, you will eat anything just to keep that pain in your stomach at bay. And the strangest part of being caught short in the food department is, the less you have, the hungrier you feel. And, no, that's not just histrionics, it is more likely Psychological. Instinctive. A panic takes over,such as the body slowing down when you eat less. It is self-preservation. When you face starvation, your natural body rhythm changes to suit the condition, which is one of the reasons that so called " diets" don't work. The body becomes convinced it is in starvation mode,and you find yourself hungry all the time. You become less energized and more lethargic,which is where the idea of overweight persons are just "fat and lazy" came from! No they're not. The body is trying to compensate for less caloric intake, by slowing things down, and reserving strength for any emergency situations that might arise. This is why diet alone will not be successful in weight loss. One must push themselves to exercise and drink more water to overcome the bodies natural response to less calories.
But I said all of that to say this. Just because a person's physical attributes does not match what you call beautiful, don't discount them, or think that no one else will find them attractive. I have seen some truly beautiful women,and handsome men, who are larger than our society calls desirable, and fascinatingly enough, most of them were lovely on the inside as well. By and ..er...large, these are the folks who are kind, generous,and non-judgmental, and have great personalities,and are faithful friends and companions,and once you have spent some time in their presence, you will forget that they wear larger clothes and merely look upon them as sweet spirits,and there is more of them to love than most people.
At the same time, just because a woman or man lives up to societies standards as far as height and weight is concerned, does not make them better people. They may look better in a swimsuit, but many are so superior and selfish, they are difficult to get along with, and if you don't come up to their standards, they will drop you like a hot potato. They look past anyone who isn't as perfect as they are as though they are invisible. This may sound negative, but I have been in a position to see a woman who is so full of herself, she needed a personality make-over. From a distance, she was very pretty, but as she got closer, she turned out to be a hatchet faced shrew,whose only goal in life was to garner as many complements on her looks as possible.And men. Weight lifters and body builders can be so critical and condescending that it doesn't take long before you can't stand to be around them. No, not all are like that.Beautiful people come in all sizes and shapes, but those who are so focused on their own bodies perfection seem to think that everyone should be just as focused on their own bodies. Now, I realize that it takes a lot of determination and work to be thin and strong, with big muscles. I know it takes a lot of work and effort to be physically attractive. Working out is hard. Self-denial is hard. And, I suppose that anyone who works so hard to be perfect feels that they are due respect and admiration for all that effort, but to expect that everyone they meet is going to fall at their feet and adore them is unrealistic. It is also wearisome. When you come in contact with a woman who works on her looks from sun-up to sun-down,depriving herself of food, running, putting on make-up,and doing her hair, and nails and whatever else her routine involves,and then comes out to a social function and has nothing interesting to say beyond,"How do I look to you?" and only presents her cheek for you to kiss the air in front of,(well, maybe that part of it's not so bad. I would rather kiss air,than taste her make-up all evening!) and if you can't touch her without hearing, " Look out for my hair!" and " Don't smudge my make-up!" then she has forgotten the whole reason behind all that work...namely, being accessible to others,and perceived as beautiful. Better they skipped some of those work-outs,and read a good book,and filled their minds with lovely thoughts, rather than be a shallow creature to look at, but don't bother engaging them in conversation!
And finally, I would rather get a hug from a fluffy motherly type woman, than a bag of bones. I would rather get a warm hug from a big guy, than a man whose going to crush you to show you how strong he is.
OUI?
Posted by: Phoenix | June 30, 2006 at 10:28 PM