MARRIAGE,DIVORCE, AND RELATIONSHIPS!

Marriage,divorce,and relationships are very much in the news and in blogs lately.Most pretty much agree that the whole thing needs to be fixed, and everyone seems to have very strong opinions on how to go about doing that. I don't. Until recently, there was nothing to fix,as far as the law is concerned. Human beings being who they are, there are going to be those folks who just can't seem to get along with anybody, regardless of the vows they took before God and everybody. Some men are still going to be impossible to live with, no matter what they promise the women who " Love" them, and some women, as we all know, will believe the most transparent lie, time after time, for the goofiest reasons on earth. And, to be fair, not all the heartbreaking behavior is being done by men. Women have proven they too are capable of being just as faithful as alley cats too, leaving men and children behind, to pursue whomever, or whatever they imagine will be fun for the moment...and then, when the fun runs out, or they get themselves into trouble, or both, they go back to the abandoned family, and make nice-nice, until the next time. All of this is not new. It has been going on, for eons. But now that it has reached epic proportions, suddenly, people are all up in arms about the number of divorces taking place. It used to be that couples stayed together, for the sake of the children,and worked their problems out. Now, they have no such urge, because there have been " studies" on the impact on the children who were raised in such marriages,and the statistics don't look so good. There has been a school of thought for many years, that it is entirely too easy to get married,and entirely too difficult to get divorces,and that our society should reverse the situation. These people have never planned a wedding, or they wouldn't say things like that! But, Okay, there is some truth to the notion. I have always thought that we don't have enough training for our young people to help them make lifetime decisions, and who to marry, and how to choose a mate is right up there on the top slot. But, whose to decide how to arrange the curriculum? Even collage professors don't seem to have it all together when the choice comes around for them! Being married is so personal for each person, and so different for each couple, the guidelines would have to be made up by a group of geniuses,and even then, they would never be able to come to an agreement on all of it. Marriage being what it is, the course would have to include a huge list of classes, not limited to, but including, budgeting of time, and money, fair arguing, sharing of chores, cooking, cleaning,  organizing, personal hygiene and grooming, your health and your mates, nursing, communicating, moving and arranging furniture,buying and selling real estate,first aid, Shopping 1 &2-IE:(shopping with your mate: patience ) and(2. shopping for your mate), as well as specialty classes, such as living together,and running a home, which would include how to make a bed correctly, and how to put a roll of tissue on the holder in the bathroom! And let's not forget simple but important things, like proper aim, and raising and lowering the seat when you are done! And even if all those things were taught, that still wouldn't guarantee harmony in the home, or that the choice of mate would be right. Besides which, who would teach thoughtfulness? Romance and love making? Expressing affection to his/her satisfaction? Yet, all those things, as important as they are, would only teach how to be married, not how to choose a mate! So, what do we do? Come up with a test to administer to all those who already come up to your own personal criteria for a life long partner,and then send them to parenting classes, if they pass?

That might be okay for those who have a long list of possibles, who are willing to go through it, but what do you say to the misfits, who see themselves with just one chance to marry,and are afraid the testing will scare their intended off?

The truth of the matter is, no amount of fiddling with the law is going to change human behavior,and education might help, but it is not the total answer either. We still need to instill in our children at a young age, that marriage is forever,and once they make that walk down the aisle, and made those vows, there is no easy way to go back  and change it. Even now, every judge and every preacher says those words, " Marriage is an honorable state, which should be entered into soberly, and thoughtfully.." and " So long as you both shall live." And too, normally, the two dizzy kids, standing up their in their wedding finery aren't listening to his words, they are thinking ahead to the reception, the honeymoon, the wedding night,and his admonition is way too late. They should have had that pounded into their heads long before the actual wedding!

But, here's an idea. How about if they have that all firmly entrenched in their heads even before the first date?  We could have a whole program, all about the pitfalls of getting married,and pre-marital sex,telling, and showing them all about terrible marriages, STD's and unwanted pregnancies...and call it " Scared Single and Abstaining!"

OUI?

Comments

[rick]

the thing for me would be to make getting married tougher and getting divorced tougher. we can talk about how that might not be fair in al circumstances, but honestly i think these two things would have a great impact on society if taken to heart. if it was harder to get married in the first place, i think people would look again at premarital education and just getting to know one another better. we'd do it in a business dealing, or when buying a house, right? and if getting out of the marriage/binding agreement would be tougher, then making it work would hopefully look like a better option, too. keep the loopholes to a minimum and make people have to try to get along. works for me.