It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, but your just different, and so, for some inexplicable reason, you find yourself treated differently than the rest of the kids. I have known that sensation all too well, from time to time, and I know a dear young woman who is going through that feeling of being excluded, through no fault of her own.Why does this happen? How does a Mother allow her child to feel being less than anyone else? I cannot explain it, and yet,there must be a reason for it.Perhaps we shall never know what goes on in a woman's mind who allows this to continue, even after the child is a grown capable woman, and has proven her worthiness to be loved and cherished,keeping in mind, of course, that no child should have to EARN love,but that they all deserve to be loved, regardless, just as much as any other person in the family.This young woman of whom I speak is very near and dear to me, and it just astounds me that her family is so ignorant, so stupid as to show so little concern for her feelings. To speak to these people, you would never guess they could be so careless in their regard for someone who has moved them into her own home,and provided handsomely for them, while she went out and worked like a Trojan to keep things going, with no demands on them for anything, other than to take as good a care of her pets and property as they possibly could,and even provided them with her own private vehicle to use, free gratis, while she was out of town! And after all of this, when she came home, with an injury, needing some TLC, and looking forward to an Easter Celebration with said family, what did they do? Did they greet her with open arms,and make much over her, and dance attendance upon her as she deserved? No! When it became clear that she was going to have to recuperate elsewhere other than home, did they make themselves omnipresent and call and come to visit regularly, just to make sure she was not in need? Once again, No! After an initial visit, she was kind and generous enough to have them call out for pizza,and gave them a $50 bill,and didn't even stay to eat, and went to her other home, letting them know they could use the change left for whatever else they wanted, and that, as they say, was the last she heard from them, until she called them! Now, they knew where she was.They had her cell phone number, as well as the number of the home in which she stayed,and in fact have been here dozens of times!
Now, I am going to stop right here,and pose a question to any mother out there. If your daughter was so badly injured that she was sent home from the hospital, and told she could not work, and that the best thing to do would be to rest,and stay off her foot, and leg, wouldn't you trouble your bones around enough to check in on her on a daily basis? (sniff) excuse me, I think I have something in my eye. Now, don't ask if this girl has done something terrible, for this has been the treatment she has endured for most of her life that she can remember.She's not nasty,or difficult to be around, or filled with malice,envy and hatred.This is a kind, tenderhearted, generous woman with no end of soft spots in her heart for the small, weak, and helpless.Her family has no excuse to behave as though she doesn't matter. If it wasn't for her, they wouldn't have a place to live, for goodness sakes! But I digress.Back to the subject.
Saturday before Easter, she asked her sisters boyfriend (who is also living in her house,and driving her car) to please take her to the hospital, because she was still having problems,and needed a doctor's care.After a great deal of hemming and hawing around and rigmarole, the sisters boyfriend finally came through,when he found time, went and got her,and took her where she needed to go, and then on the return trip, they stopped briefly at her house, so she could pick up a few things she needed, and she runs smack-dab into the one person she had told her mother and all the rest of the family she DID NOT WANT IN HER HOUSE, in her house.Not only was this man there, but he was STAYING there! And, he proceeded to insult her, to her face.Her mother was sitting right there,and did not say anything.She did not take up for her daughter, or tell the man off,or insist that he apologize, or even order the man out.She just sat there, in her own little corner, with her bare face hanging out,and not one word passed her lips. Now, personally, I wish I had been there, because I would have had several choice words for him and the whole durned shootin match of them...but I wasn't there,and this dear sweet woman was left to her own devices, with no one to take up for her, and so she said, something, grabbed what she wanted and left. Now how does it happen that a woman will sit there through that sort of confrontation,and not have a sharp word for a man who speaks inappropriately to her own daughter? The owner of the house! She was also informed, somewhere along the line, that there was going to be a cook-out the next day, Easter Sunday,and this man was going to be there too, because he helped provide some of the food and stuff for said cook-out. Now, they all were told that if this man was there, she would not be there,and no one lifted a finger, or a word of protest in favor of her.They all chose to be on the side of this interloper who was not a welcome guest as far as the woman who owns the house.Easter Sunday came, and went, and the cook-out apparently went off without a hitch, and no one bothered to contact the daughter, whose only desire was to have a nice Easter Sunday dinner, with her family.
Now, I am going to tell you something that will shock you, if you have any decent sensibilities about you, but it is true, so I am going to say it. The young woman in question, about whom I am blogging tonight is my daughter-in-law, and Yon son and I love her dearly. We were honored to have her in our home, and delighted that she spent the holiday with us, but we knew that she was yearning to be with her own mom and sisters and niece and nephew for Sunday dinner.We tried everything we could think of, to take the sting off the week-end for her, but what can one do, when the situation is so lopsided? You can't MAKE people show love and affection, it has to come naturally.We knew, long ago that all was not as it should be, because this darling girl was shipped off to a "home" when she was very young, and all she wanted, for years was to get her family back together. It took her 17 years for her to make that dream come true...and this is the way she is treated.
I don't have all the answers, but some things I do know.I know that no normal mother would treat her daughter this way, unless there is something wrong, in this woman's head, some sort of secret guilt or regret connected with this child, that she cannot admit to, that keeps her from expressing natural affection for her own flesh and blood.Whatever the crux of the problem is, "Mom" should get over her grudge she bears against her child, and try to overcome this thoughtless cruel streak she constantly shows her baby girl, and attempt to exhibit some affection and interest,or that whole family could lose her permenently.
I really don't think she is the black sheep of the family. I think, what we have here is a whole family of black sheep, who haven't come to a reconciliation with the fact that they have a fluffy pink and white sheep!
OUI?
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