You may have noticed that I haven't mentioned my best friend in a while.There is a very good reason for that.We haven't spoken since just before Valentine's day. I've been busy,and I guess she has been busy too. Probably, she is having no problems,and doesn't feel like she needs to talk to someone right now.Things are going good,so she has no use for a shoulder to cry on.It also means those new vitamins we helped her get are working for her deficiency,and her health has improved.These are all good signs,unless, of course,she has somehow had a sudden problem,and landed in the hospital again, and no one has seen fit to call me.But,chances are, I am worrying needlessly, and she is fine. In all likelihood, her old school chum from Wisconsin did come to visit as they had planned,and they have been spending a lot of time going places and doing things and she just hasn't had time to even listen to her phone messages.I hope I don't sound bitter, because I honestly don't feel that way. Oh, for a while I was upset,and wondered, you know, as anyone will whose stood by a pal for a couple of years while they went through a tough time,and then finally, finally at long last the light at the end of the tunnel shines forth,and all that trouble is in the past.It did cross my mind that it would be nice if she came for dinner,and we could celebrate her release from all those concerns,and yet, I fully understand that perhaps she would rather relegate me to the back burner for a while,and just forget all that turmoil.For a while there, it got so bad, she was getting several phone calls a day, and everything was in an uproar, her health,her finances, her relationship with her daughter,and the way her daughters husband was treating her was just downright frightening...and all of it coming at her at the same time,day after day, for two years! Who wouldn't run to someone for some comfort and stability? I won't go into further detail, but if you can imagine how awful just that would be, imagine it being more than that, and Yon son and I being the only ones who would do anything to help when she couldn't cover an important bill, or kick in for some food.But enough about that. Suffice it to say, that we didn't do it for recognition, or for thanks, but only because we were able, and we love her,and time after time, we said, don't thank us, thank God we had it! That being the case, most other folks would be pushed out of shape over this no contact thing after all this time, but that isn't even an issue.She is my friend.She doesn't owe me anything, not even a phone call. I know some people can be very possessive of their friends, when they are as close as we have been, but we have never been that sophomoric in our fondness of each other. In fact, she has a neighbor who just gives her fits because she is so demanding of her time and is so needy, that not a day goes by, but what that woman is pounding on her door. But we are mature adults,and we have a history of falling out of touch from time to time for a while, and then reconnecting when it suits us. I have other things to do, and so does she. Neither of us is interested in being hung around anyone's neck like a locket, or having anyone attached to us at the hip.I want and need friends, just like anybody, but I don't want them calling me, expecting to talk for hours on end when I am trying to read, do research, or write, or blog...or just quiet time to think and dream,or read my Bible and pray. Frankly, there aren't enough hours in the day for all the things I want to do, so a break from myriad telephoning suits me just fine. She, on the other hand, has a life, thank God, and likes to go to the boat,play the slots, have lunch and go shopping. We used to do that together from time to time,and then things changed,and I wasn't able to get around as much, so now she does those things with others who think nothing of jumping and running and going places at the drop of a hat. When I leave the house, it is purposeful, and well planned,painful and darned inconvenient.When forced, I go,do what I have to do,and go home, and fall into an exhausted heap.We know and understand that about each other and appreciate the differences.That is why we have a comfortable relationship. We demand nothing of one another,and we trust each other implicitly, for we know neither of us would do anything intentionally to hurt the other. So, even though I am curious as to why I haven't heard from her, I'm just going to pray for her,and let it go at that, and let the Lord take care of it for me. I have left messages, that eventually, she may respond to. That is all I can do.The ball is in her court now, and I refuse to over-react to this silence, and waste my time burning up the telephone wires, in a vain attempt to reach her,because in many ways, she is, as in the Beatles tune, "Uncle Albert, Admiral Halsey" so easily called away...She may have gone to visit her daughter, or gone to Wisconsin with her school chum,and calling me to let me know just slipped her mind.After all, I am not her mother, that she has to check in with me, and keep me appraised of her comings and goings.Now, if only Yon son wasn't so concerned, perhaps I wouldn't have it on my mind enough to even blog about it, but he asks me every day, have you heard from her? What can I say? No, honey, I haven't.Don't worry about it.But then, he gets this look on his face, as though she owes us something,when she doesn't.It would be different, I suppose, if we had an agreement that she would be paying us back for the money given to take up the slack for her, but there was none.She even offered, you keep track,and I will, she said, pay it back when I am able, but to me, it was unnecessary to do that.I didn't do it to be paid back...she didn't need another person to owe money to, so the idea that that money was a loan I quickly dispelled. It was a gift in the name of the Lord, not a loan.Freely,and cheerfully given, and as the old saying goes, "You can't out give God!" is so true.And, when the Lord rewards you for a selfless act, he pays you back, not only in money found, but also in things that money cannot buy. And now, Yon son is seeing those rewards coming back to us,and his near indignation is evaporating. We have discussed it, and he begins to see that it is better all the way around when one gives, as we have, with an open hand, without the slightest regard for how much this is all adding up to,although I am vaguely aware that it must be a lot, still, the total doesn't interest me in the slightest.We were only vessels, conduits of grace, or unmerited favor, through which God provided her with what she needed.That is why we were led of the Lord to do what we did, and at the same time, he saw to it that our needs were covered, we didn't miss a bill payment to help her with hers,nor go without groceries to have her over for dinner,and then send care packages home with her, so she wouldn't continue to live on lettuce and milk and bread,and canned vegetables. Yon son and I agreed, without even talking it over at the time, that we couldn't NOT give to her.That was the Holy Spirit working in us both to be a blessing to her,simply because she had a need.And, we insisted she not even thank us. It would have been counter-productive,and superfluous, really, to accept her thanks, because that is God's economy at work. When you give, and expect and accept thanks for it, you have your reward.Myself, personally, I would much rather allow the Lord to reward me,because he has promised to open the windows of heaven and pour out a blessing that we do not have room to hold,and honey, God does not lie! So, far from being an annoyance to us when she would tell us of a need, I looked at it as the Lord wished me to. Her need was an opportunity to be a blessing to her,and in that context there was no resentment when she asked, there was no reason for her to feel the least bit beholding to us about it.We were glad to give,and she was most grateful to God that she wasn't hung out to dry, just twisting in the wind, in terrible need, with no one to stand in the gap for her. I was happy to be able to have her come to dinner once a week...it would have been more, but since she is in no condition to cook,and neither am I, it fell to Yon son to do the cooking, and there, once again, if I may interject a thought, this also was orchestrated by the Lord, years ago, when I took it into my head to see to it that he could cook.When he was a teen-ager, it came to me, after looking around at the men I knew, that most have this problem of not being able to be alone, because they cannot take care of themselves.That being the case, men will hook up with some woman, whether she is right for him or not, just to have someone run their house. Cook their meals,and do their laundry, and other things. I resolved that this would not be the case with my son.Well, I may have missed the boat with organization, and motivation on some things, but he was an apt pupil when it came to cooking, because he likes my cooking, and he also appreciates a clean house, so his manly resistance was easily overcome.So, the meals we served on those weekly get togethers were well-balanced,and food cooked to perfection...and then, we would have Bible study, helping us all to be more well grounded in the Lord, and that was a feast of another kind,promoting,enriching and encouraging,our relationship, not only with each other, but also with the Lord, making it a friendship, like no other!
And, one last thought.Isn't it interesting that the one night we could set for our dinner,Yon son's only night off, was also, the night Bible study was scheduled by our church on the Internet? Once again, not a coincidence, but orchestrated by God! Thus, we were nourished physically,spiritually,mentally,and emotionally. And it was always an amazingly wonderful time.
OUI?
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