I looked up, there was Yon son, looking all harried, anxious and sweaty. I said, what? He said, this! and he spun around, indicating the kitchen, I thought. I looked around.The floor was gleaming and swept clean, the table was passable, since we had just had a bite to eat,and there wasn't a mess of dishes to be washed, so I still didn't understand what he was talking about. Our eyes met,and he knew what I was thinking. No, he said, I don't mean the kitchen. I mean, all of it. Why didn't you tell me that keeping a whole house running is hard? You did it for so many years, and worked too, and you made it look so easy! How did you do that? Why didn't you warn me that it was really hard? I get one thing done, and then I just turn around, and it has to be done all over again.Just about the time I think I've got it all covered, and maybe I can sit down and take a break, there's more to do! Oh, that! I smiled.Oh, but I did.He stopped wiping down the counter tops,and turned to look at me with big eyes, but he said nothing. Obviously, he didn't remember. Well, men's memories, if anything, are convenient. So, I yanked his recall chain a little bit. I said " Five years ago, when I came home from the hospital, after my back surgery, I told you, you are not going to be able to handle this whole house by yourself. We have got to have some help.I need someone in here to help me recover, and you work full time and can't be expected to run the house on your own, with no help from me. I tried to tell you that a place this size, with three bedrooms,and big kitchen, living room and dinning room is too much for one person, who also has a near invalid to care for.But you argued with me.Gently but firmly, you said, I've got it covered, Mom. At that time, it was all I could do, with help, to get up, go to the bathroom,and go back to bed, so I shut my helpful mouth,and let it go.Two months later, when I was finally able to sit up to the table and eat my meals, I worked not to notice the way things were piling up for you, hoping that you would see how it was going, and give in, but that didn't happen.Six months into my recovery,when I was able, at long last, to switch back our beds,when I was finally back in my nice warm and soft waterbed,and you could have your brick back that you laughingly call a bed, I began to notice that there were rabbit warrens all over the house.( the spare bedroom, or guest room was so full, there was stuff crammed in there clear to the door, and I couldn't walk in.My filing cabinet was buried,as was my computer,and my typewriter.Every closet was filled to overflowing with bags of laundry that needed to be done.) I finally called my doctor's office,and told them I needed help,and they sent visiting nurses out to help me bathe and stuff....and I..."
Mother, he said, I know how badly I have done. I meant well, Okay? What I asked you is, Why didn't you tell me this was hard? Oh. I guess that was your answer.But, now, tell me. How did you do it, and make it look so easy? After some thought, I told him.When you first start out, you don't have much, but you and your husband,and you don't know much either.But you learn.Then, you have a baby,and you learn some more,and by the time the children notice whether the house is clean or dirty, hopefully, you have learned enough to where they aren't totally ashamed of you. Yon laughed, yeah, right! You think I'm kidding don't you? Mother, I remember the house being spotless, the laundry being done, the shopping done, food on the table on time,no dirty dishes in the sink, and about the time Tom was snoring, and I took Brutus and we went to bed,you'd be going to your office, to work on your book.I'd go to sleep with the dog by my side, listening to you on the typewriter,and you'd still be back up at the crack of dawn, making Tom's coffee,and fixing his sandwiches to take to work for his lunch! But, How?
Well, honey, I can't tell you all the tricks of the trade, because it would take too long,and you would become unutterably bored with the whole subject by the time I was done.But, I can tell you this.I didn't have a whole household dumped in my lap, with a mother who had to depend on me for all the things you do for me every day.I assumed my responsibilities a bit at a time, and grew into the job, so that by the time you're talking about, I didn't even have to really think about it, I just did it.Maybe you just thought it was easy, but the truth is, it's not.At best, I managed it, but by no stretch of the imagination was it a breeze. And, you're not doing too badly now, yourself. You just need to stop stressing over things you have to let go until tomorrow, and then, DO pick it up tomorrow.God bless your baby heart, I thank the Lord every day for all the wonderful things you do for me, and all without my asking.By the way, thanks for the Delicious dinner.Now, stop whatever that is your doing, and go get dressed for work,honey. Your car will be here any minute.
A few moments later, after he gave me a peck on the cheek,and went out the door, and I called after him my usual,God be with you, drive carefully, I love you, don't forget your prayer...I thought about all the trials and hardships we have endured together. How many times we have earnestly prayed for the Lord to get us out of this mess, once again.How many times we have had to start over, with more or less only what we wore,and could carry in our arms. It occurred to me, that I don't even know how many times, I stopped counting a few years back. And, it's just as well. Nothing can change the past,but how we perceive it is so personal, so individual, that for a while, as I spoke to Yon son,in the back of my mind, I found myself amazed that he had only remembered my being a good housewife, and I had to smile at the number of times I cried as he slept, because I didn't know where we would be the next day, or where our next meal was coming from. Each time, I sought the Lord,and every time, he came through for us.And now, today, I have been given a great token of love, from my son, without price,and without measure. a moment, beautiful and precious...a jewel in my crown of motherhood. Sigh. Oh Lord, Please, even if I forget everything else, let me always remember this moment,when I was given, so much more than a compliment,and now, doggone it, I am crying again...
OUI?
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