I've lost my appetite, so severely that in the last couple of days...maybe a week, I have only eaten just enough to keep my stomach from growling or hurting, and then, only after going through a whole list of things I could have. I didn't want any of it,but I knew I had to have my basic requirements covered. After much deliberation, and a taste here,and a taste there, I have finally said, alright, okay, I'll have this piece of pizza, but then I also have to have a salad,and a piece of fruit. Well, I scraped the toppings off and ate that and threw the crust away.I now am dawdling forcing down the salad, even though it's my favorite kind, I don't really want it, but I must have it to fulfill my daily quota of veggies, and that along with my second tangerine of the day should bring me right up close to that mark.Some of you may not understand what I am going through, but it is hard for me to actually consume 7 servings of fruits and vegetables every day. Being diabetic is a real tight-rope-walk every day...every meal is filled with decisions that I would rather not have to make, but I make them because I take certain medications that must be taken with food,and I can not fudge on that and eat a cookie, because that would just add empty carbs and sugars I don't need, and negate the nutritious food that I should be having.And. I can't take them without food, because some of those pills would burn my stomach. So, it is a multi-faceted conditional situation,in which I never fancied myself being found. Oh, yeah, I can hear you saying, why doesn't she just not eat? If your not hungry, don't eat, isn't that it? Well, I would love to not eat, but I want to wake up tomorrow, feeling good. If I don't follow the food plan..I not only will feel terrible tomorrow, I may not wake up! Going too far, one way or the other, I could find myself either in a diabetic coma, or an insulin coma, and both can kill you....or me. And, here is the strange part of it. For years, I have sought the lord on the battle of the bulge. When I got saved, the Lord took my taste for alcohol away from me, like, overnight, (praise God) and boy was I glad to see it go, but no one else was. It was a major change in me,and my lifestyle,and my life as a whole, because suddenly, I was a tea-totaler, and this was an offense and an affront to all my friends and my husband.Even my mother and step-dad were wondering what was going on with me.Only Yon son did not jump on me over it, and that was because he outwardly supported me in whatever I did, even as I tried to do with him, but yet, even he admitted to me later, when he got saved, that he was upset and didn't understand why I had changed either, even though I had told them. I told them God took the taste for alcohol away from me,and they wanted to know if I had joined a cult! Well, of course I had not.But after years of being a non-drinker, and then having to work as a bartender to live, I got sucked into a lifestyle that pretty much blind sided me. After working on my feet 12 to 14 hours a day, when I got off work, I couldn't just get my coat and go home, because my feet would be numb clear up to my knees! I had to sit down, or fall down. The incoming bartender would automatically set me up with a drink...(courtesy) and off I'd go. By the time I recovered enough to be able to walk home, I'd be half sloshed. Without even being aware of it, I was becoming a drunk, in bondage to a thing I used to hate! Finally I woke up one day, and realized that I didn't know anyone but bartenders and drunks, with the exception of family,and immediately set about to change that situation! I quit the bar,and found another job, another place to live,and completely divorced that lifestyle, but time would go by before I would get saved and break that bondage. Well, this is different, but It feels very much the same, with the diet. As I said, I have struggled for years with my food problems, but now, suddenly, the thing has been done for me, thank God, and all I have to do now, is get used to it.
OUI?
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