THOUGHTS AT THREE A.M.

VACATION! IT'S ALL IN THE WAY YOU THINK ABOUT IT!!

Years ago, when I was young, I never dreamed of going to far away places, I don't know why. Perhaps just because we take on the ideals and ideas and attitudes of our parents, and what they think is important and wonderful.Mom and Dad and Bama all worked very hard, and to them a great time was in being home with the family, relaxing. In the summer there was a lot of day-tripping to local lakes, such as Lake McBride.We'd pack a lunch, take our swim suits and pile in the car and drive about 20 miles, sometimes stopping in Ely to ride horse-back for an hour in the cool of the day,then on to the lake to swim and play in the sand.When we got hungry, we ate,and then rested on a blanket in the shade for an hour, before we could go back in the water.We used that time to talk together, to read or write poetry,to sketch or play games, or sing,and to listen to music on Mothers fascinating portable radio. Everything was lazy, and comfortable and unimportant, and we loved it.Those days only came about when everyone was feeling good,and things were going well.The following nights, of course, were a little different.Because everyone who had gone to the lake, by  that night was sporting a rather impressive sunburn, and this being the time before widespread air conditioning, we would be hot and very uncomfortable. Ergo, no one would be able to sleep. So, back in the convertible we would go again, this time to drive around, just trying to find a cool pocket of air to drive through...and everyone would go AHHH! when we found one.We would get thirsty, and stop at the A&W root beer stand,and each of us would get a huge mug of that icy cold delicious bite your tongue stuff! Or, we might even be able to get a root beer float! But rarely did that happen...Dad's blood sugar, you know. His order would set the tone for the rest of us. After all. If he couldn't have a float, none of us wanted to have one in front of him. It wouldn't have been nice.Sometimes, we would drive right on past the root beer stand and stop at the fruit market instead.They also stayed open late at night in the summer.People were accustomed to being out, driving around on hot nights, so places that served cold food and drinks stayed open a lot later.A&W, the fruit stand, with all their fruit fresh, laying on beds of shaved ice, and we would go for the coldest, and lowest in natural sugars available.Bing cherries were Dad's favorite, right up there next to watermelon, grapes,peaches and plums, muskmelons, and honeydews.All types of melons were cut, and deseeded, so you could get just a slice, or you could buy one whole,and take it home.Also open on some of those nights, was the ice cream parlor. It was also a favorite, because it was always cold inside, and they carried dietetic ice cream, or ice milk. Lowest on the list, for obvious reasons, was the Dairy Queen. Not that we didn't all love the soft serve, but Dad usually had to have a small cone,and a glass of ice water.But, here was one of the few places where we weren't expected to have just what Dad had....and before I finish with that thought, let me say that Dad never imposed those limitations on us,that was Mother's leading, not in so many words, but, we knew.But the DQ was the one place, we could go nuts! Mother always preferred a banana split.My sister would have a Sunday, and my brother a malt.Both chocolate. I was always caught in the middle full of indecision.With so many possibilities, I found it difficult to choose.Really, in actuality, I wanted to taste them all.So, I would end up either saying I wanted a small cone, or a chocolate Sunday, or a chocolate malt. But then, finally, I found the very best. A Hot Fudge Sunday.Yeah. Even with the heat and the sunburns and the sand and the sleeplessness, those were really vacation times for our family, right up til the time my parents decided that we needed to really get away from the house and all for several days at a time.Even then, we didn't go far. We still vacationed in Iowa, to Clear Lake ,or Spirit Lake, or Lake Okaboji. We would rent a cabin,and stay for a week or two, and it was just as wonderful as going to Lake McBride, only longer.To me those days seemed the best, and I couldn't have imagined anyone going much further away from home.

So now, when I hear of people going to Africa, or Ireland on vacation, basically, I have no response to that.I've heard of the package tours, so many countries in so many days, but it all seemed like so much work to hustle around and move about so much, so quickly, when does anyone have time to relax and actually enjoy the place? Another thing that concerns me is, where in this world can you go today where there isn't a war going on? Where you can actually drink the water, and eat the food without going, Oooh!Is this going to make me sick? I am curious about going to the holy land, but there again, can you think of a hotter spot to go to? Not just heat wise, but war wise? I don't like the notion of being in a desert country. And, sorry to say, most sunny beaches don't really entice me much either. I have had all the sunny beaches, and the attendant sunburns I want, thank you very much.Pretty to look at, but I don't actually want to go there.When I was a kid, and got a sunburn, I was put into a vinegar and soda bath, to take the heat out of the burn. To this day, when I sweat, I smell like vinegar. Now that indicates to me that I have had way more than my share of sunburns! Okay? Mountains are too high, and so far as I know only good for looking at, or climbing.My climbing days are over, and I never had the urge to ski in the first place.A cruise sounds like fun, but I get car sick, so I have a sneaking suspicion that I would get sea-sick.Not fun.I get off on a cruise down the Mississippi, but that's on a paddle-wheel boat, that goes nowhere near the actual ocean, so no telling that way.Of course, there are exotic places like India, where I could go to see the Taj Mahal, but I can't go there. People are starving in the streets!

Looks like I should just stay home, and let others send me post cards.If I went anywhere, even if all those other contra-indications didn't make me sick, I would still be home sick. I love my home.Why on earth would I want to leave it?!

OUI?

HUGE "STINK" OVER HOG PLANT IN QUAD CITIES, IGNORES THE "SOUND AND THE FURY"!!

The surrounding neighborhood started posting signs as soon as the plant was suggested. They said, "No hog plant!". The signs were ignored by the city of East Moline. All the City council and other leaders in that community saw, were dollar signs, not the objections of the residents.The major focus, has been the smell of such an enterprise, which anyone with a nose that works, and has ever driven within 5 miles of a hog plant, or hog farm will fully understand.And, where it is true that the stench of such operations are unbelievably awful, there is another consideration that I have noticed hasn't even been addressed.So, guess what? I am going to address it! Surprise, surprise!

Now, I know that we here in the States love our bacon, our sausage, ribs and ham. But anyone with a half a brain should be able to figure out, you don't insert such an aromatic plant into a small community, with peoples homes anywhere within a mile of such a place.Or five miles.And where the obvious drawback of the smell of this place has been discussed and dredged up over and over again, there is one more drawback. I know. I used to live within  a mile of a hog plant, and there is something worse than smell to be considered. It is sound.And, it's enough to drive a person crazy.It is the screaming of those hogs, being killed, hour after hour. Day and night, Winter and summer.Yup. Even when the wind is right, and the smell isn't overpoweringly foul, you can still hear that horrible sound, with your windows closed, the t.v. on and conversation going on.

Imagine, if you will, yourself, in your own home, all is quiet in the house. Something foul in the air, and as you lay in your bed, trying to ignore the smell, the sounds of pigs being murdered filters through to you.The shrill squealing,the shrieking,screaming creatures in torment, and it just doesn't quit.

My point? Nobody should have to live in a residential neighborhood where this is going on. No city should allow this sort of industry anywhere near a city limits.This is a business that should be conducted out in the country far away from any community, no matter how small. And any Mayor of a city that sneaks the sort of rules and regulations into law to benefit the facilitating of such a grossly inhospitable, inappropriate industry, by re-zoning a previously residential area into industrial one, and then goes on camera and bald-faced lies to point blank questions as to whether this is for a hog plant, and hedges and he-haws around to avoid saying yes, but only says, whatever industry moves in will be good for the economy, when he knows darn good and well that it IS for a hog plant, should be made to live right next door to that plant as soon as it's up and running!

Let's take a vote on that, shall we ??

OUI?

CARTOON SPARKED RIOTS OVERSPREADING THE MIDDLE EAST! IS OUR CONSTANT COVERAGE OF IT ENCOURAGING IT?

It's becoming pandemic. This idiotic overreaction is just growing and getting hotter and bigger, and now the Muslim world has turned their wrath on the US! Which is ridiculous, since we had absolutely nothing to do with the whole thing.With the possible exception of circulating the cartoons, just to see what all the shouting was about.By now, I am sure you have seen them, and frankly, considering that the world has done some extremely raunchy cartoons, featuring the object of my worship, namely Jesus Christ, this stuff is fairly innocuous and tame. So, they picture their prophet as having a bomb in his turban, and another one where the bomb is his brain. Big  deal. At least they didn't picture him crucified in urine! Remember that? Did the Christians around the world, or even just around the USA scream, burn flags, make death threats or bomb and throw rocks at anyone's home or embassy? No.What did we do? We prayed for them. We forgave them, and went on with our lives. As a matter of fact, we Christians have had hundreds of incidents where our Lord and savior has been unfairly, unkindly, and unrighteously depicted and accused.Not once, in all those times have we ever made such a stink over such an occurrence.I will admit that from time to time certain Christian leaders have objected to things that Hollywood has done to our Lord's image and nature and name,but no one was in danger of dying because of it! Perhaps the constant reporting of the Arab world's escalating riots and nightly footage of yet another demonstration of hatred for the western world, and the cartoons in particular, only fuels the fire.There is a school of thought that goes, as long as they spell your name right, any news report that gets the word out,and keeps them mindful of you, is good, no matter what they say, at least your agenda, your cause is in front of their eyes and you cannot be ignored anymore.Hm? Maybe, the worst thing we could do to these radicals, is to pull the plug on their news stories, except to warn those in harm's way!

After all. The Arab world has already made it abundantly clear, that their ultimate aim is to kill all the Christians, and totally eradicate all western thinking.Why not watch them, but not talk about them so much? It makes them entirely too important in their own eyes, and they would like nothing better than to create fear of them in us.

Remember, what every Angel sent to man, with a word from God said, first thing?

Fear Not, for I am with you!

OUI?

DR.PHIL TALKS TO SELF-PROCLAIMED BITCHES, WHO ARE PROUD OF IT!!

Never in my wildest dreams could I even imagine myself going on a talk show to tell the world that I am a touchy, dictatorial,nasty mouthed woman. And I certainly wouldn't ever say that I am a bitch, and proud of it! Whether or not I am such a thing is not for me to say...but I would be crushed if my husband or children or friends said such a thing about me! I really like Dr.Phil, and enjoy his show, but this program was beyond belief.They actually believed that being aggressive to the point of terrible, insulting name calling, and constant put downs of their husbands, motivated them to give their wives the things they wanted. Of course, the down side to this behavior is that these women lost their husbands respect, who gave them things to shut them up, but then also spent as much time away from home as they possibly could. One man even investigated being committed to a mental ward to get away from his wife's acidic tongue! They hated waiting in line at the stores..yeah, well, I can sort of understand that,but they would go ballistic to force the store to open another check-out lane,which the employees would do to just get rid of them. I have been known to reach that point too, but I got results in the nicest way possible. These women didn't see any percentage in being nice, they just got their own way no matter who it hurt. These women didn't start out this way, apparently.They used to be nice,and found themselves being walked on. I can sort of relate to that. I found out early on that when you lay down, like a door mat, someone is going to walk on you. But these women went from one extreme to the other...without finding that happy intermediate spot where you make your wants and feelings know, assertively, without being overly aggressive.Alright? Now, I know all too well, that with some people you just can't be nice, and you have to watch out for those individuals, because you can find yourself acquiring this mind set where you begin to treat everyone as though they are  a user and  some kind of flake, and before you are aware of how this experience has altered you, your treatment of all those you come in contact with is just over the top!

Dr. Phil's bottom line was, If you could see yourself the way he sees you, you wouldn't feel as though you had to be aggressive with everyone! You can be confident and assertive, without having to use rude, crude language to get your way, which really is the most desirable outcome for this sort of lady, because let's say you use profanity and insults to your husband from the time he wakes up till the time he leaves or goes to sleep. Pretty soon, he gets so used to it, he doesn't even hear it anymore. His wife saying "Get up you old &^%$##$$%^!" no longer phases him at all, and begins to sound like " Good morning!" And, lets face it, when that happens, your shock value has lost it's punch,and what is the next level?

OUI?

2006 WINTER OLYMPICS!!!

Well, it's been a month since the Olympics started, and I for one....what?  You say it's only been a week? That cannot be! It certainly SEEMS like a month. In fact, it seems like a great deal longer than a  month. The opening ceremonies themselves seemed to take at least two days all by themselves. But, Okay.If you say it's only been a week, and it's only going to be two weeks altogether, then I stand corrected. However, it's not all my fault that I got it wrong. Some of the blame for that impression goes to NBC,and their relentless, unending, minute by minute coverage of every slide down the slopes and the constant yammering that goes on.I don't have to be told when a snowboarder is "hot dogging", I can see it perfectly well by myself! If I even bother to watch it at all, I don't need to be told what I am watching! The reporting that goes on that irritates me the most, however, is in the figure skating, and the ice dancing.Instead of allowing those of us watching by television to enjoy the music and really get into the mood of the performance, they just keep right on talking over the music, and I get to the point I just want to yell, "SHUT UP!" Somebody should tell these people, we don't care what was wrong with that jump, or that move, there's plenty of time to yak about the performance during the scoring! When there is beautiful music playing, shut up and let us hear it! I mean, it's bad enough that they are pre-empting Jeopardy and all of our regular prime-time shows to watch idiots falling off of mountains,and cracking their knees on ice, but then to bombard us with their unrelenting talk at all the most inconvenient times is really too much!

All things considered, I shall be eternally grateful when this trial is over,and programing can go back to normal.I am so sick of the Olympics, I could just chew nails, so by and large, I have pretty much just turned off the local NBC coverage, in favor of other channels, or watch movies, or just turned the television off altogether.Because, let's face it folks,it never gets any better, it only gets worse!

OUI?

HOUSEWARES CATALOGES! SOME ARE JUST FULL OF JUNK!!

I got another catalog again today. For the most part, I don't mind getting them. I call them my wish books. I can go through them from cover to cover, and enjoy all the lovely stuff in them. Imagine having those drapes,or that style of bedroom, and that is really all I need. What bothers me, is when you get a catalog, and all the really worthwhile items, the pretty stuff, the cute things, are on the front cover,and the back page.While, inside, are not high quality items, but what more resembles something reclaimed from the garbage heap, painted and otherwise fiddled with, and now has an astronomical price tag on it, and we are supposed to fall for this stuff. This one is called Tender something, treasures. On the front page is a pink, green, and blue wreath, with a huge blue butterfly hanging  down in the middle of it. At first glance, it's rather attractive, but on further inspection, it looks very thin and sparse, and is obviously silk and dried flowers on a very cheap ring.Someone got the idea to pick up others cast-offs, and paint them, or pound holes in them and add a coating of antiquing or bronze or red finish, and wow, you've got a whole new thing! They pick up rusted out bird baths,or trellis's,throw a coat of white paint on them, and  they are rustic! Find old wash tubs and paint them red, and it's old fashioned charm! Clean up and paint and pound holes into tin cans,and add some new labels, and you've got a country kitchen item, suitable for hanging and putting votive candles into.Canning jars, in a rusted out holder, with rusted lids,it becomes a condiment set! Unbelievable!

OUI?

JUGGLING THE FLU WITH LOW CARBS!!

Ever since this stomach flu hit, I have experienced the most unusual difficulty.Normally, I have no problem eating lightly, clear soups, jell-o and the like, gradually working up to normal menus as the symptoms pass. However this time, it's different.Chicken soup is too greasy, Jello is too sweet...even sugarless! Beef broth is too salty, creamed soups are to high in carbs...and if I am running even a low grade fever, I shouldn't have milk anyway.Oatmeal is good, but it gets so boring...and who wants cereal for three meals a day? I am craving tomato soup, and salad, but that doesn't sit well, probably too acidic. The only thing left at this point is tea and toast, but that can easily run into too many carbs,but one must eat something in order to take certain medications. The only thing wrong with that is, if I have toast, I am going to want an egg, or I will feel unsatisfied, and in order to keep up my strength, I should have some protein. So, I run my blood sugar, and then sit and go through this mental list, wondering what to eat, knowing full well, that no matter what it is, there is a real good chance it's going to upset my stomach anyway.Yon son solved that problem last night when he suggested we order out Chinese. Rice is so digestible, I don't know why I didn't think of it myself! Our place delivers, so it was a really good idea, for even though I ordered small fried rice, and steamed rice to go with sweet and sour chicken, there was more than enough so we could have left-overs today.Well, it turns out the sweet and sour wasn't such a good idea, but the rest of it was wonderful. And there are a myriad of ways to use two cartons of white rice. I put some in a bowl with a pat of almost butter, and heated it in the microwave for a minute and then poured hazelnut creamer over it, and wow! It was delicious, and it smoothed my tummy right out. Of course, I am still wishing for a bowl of cream of tomato soup, but, I'll just have to wait until this stomach bug is over to try that again, along with that green salad with tomatoes and bacon, and my dessert of an orange...Acid, acid, acid! I guess a few spoonfuls of blueberry yogurt will have to do.

I guess, sometimes you just have to go with the carbs, and be comfortable, and keep your portion size down to a minimum, to satisfy your hunger AND keep your blood sugar in check, while the digestive system comes back to it's normal self.

OUI?

THREE CHILLY BEAUTIFUL THINGS

CHEERY, CHERRY, CHILLY!

1.The sun is shining so brightly through the windows,that Teddy is just singing his little heart out,and it looks like a beautiful day outside, with people dashing about so quickly you'd think it was a wonderful day!

2.I poured out a glass of diet Dr.Pepper and dropped a frilly umbrella swizzle stick with two cherries stuck on it into my pop. Ah! Just like being in the tropics!

3.Then I rolled over to the door,and started to open it, but the wind warned me,and instead, I looked at the thermometer. Oh my gosh! It's only six degrees out there! No wonder everyone is running past! They're just anxious to get inside where it's warm! It is a chilly day, but at least it's warm in here!

OUI?

HOW TO WRITE AN "I'M SORRY LETTER" TO YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW!?

I don't know what you did, that you can't just call her up and talk to her,or go to see her personally, but if you need to write a letter to say you're sorry,then you probably have many issues to cover, and many bridges to mend. So, first off, if you owe her any money, now would be a good time to stop promising, and just slip a check or money order in with the letter, and maybe that will get her attention! It doesn't have to be the whole thing...just, something, as earnest money to indicate that someday, you will pay her back. Be humble, sweet, contrite, and use that same voice that you would use to speak to your own mother...that is, if you and your own mother are on good terms...if not, then treat her BETTER than you would your own mother! Don't be fresh, cavalier and joking if you want her to take you seriously.She will think you are mocking her. As to the salutation, it depends on your past relationship. If she has been comfortable with you calling her mom, by all means, now would be the best time to lean rather heavily upon that privilege.However, if you have been on a first name basis, now is not the time to try leaping beyond that stage. Although I have never had occasion to write such a letter, I have had some written to me, and for purposes of an example, I will pull one from my own archives, which worked for me...or them. Of course, in spanish, it would be as simple as, " mea colpa, mea colpa, mea maxima colpa,mama" and sign your name!

Dear Mom,

I hope you aren't too angry with me to read this letter. I am so very upset with the way everything happened Sunday night, that I just had to let you know I did not intend to ruin the dinner. There was nothing wrong with the food you cooked, but when you saw me picking the onions out of the casserole, I panicked.I didn't mean to dump the whole plate on your dog, I just meant to scrape the onions into her dish, and she got in the way, and before I knew it it was all over her. I guess it was hotter than I thought, and that is why she ran howling through the house...I did NOT step on her! I am not sure how she got out of the house then, but I think somebody came in the door, and she saw it open and went out! I was not running away from you, I was chasing after April, just to make sure she was alright, and of course, you were chasing her for the same reason,and I think everybody else just ran after us to find out what was going on! I don't know how the tablecloth got yanked off the table, but it was probably an accident too, considering how fast everybody jumped up and left the table...and all the dishes just came with it! Even though I personally didn't do it, I do feel responsible for the mess,and all that breakage,not to mention what it must have set you back to pay for the dog groomers to get that sauce off April's coat, so I have enclosed a money order for $20 to help out. Do with it as you like, whether to replace some of your good china, or another trip to the dog groomers,is up to you. Unless I miss my guess, you will be taking April for another bath, to restore her to her former gold and white, because nobody wants to have their beautiful collie stay pink. Anyway, please forgive me. I never would have done any of that if I knew what was going to happen. I am so, so sorry, that, well, next time...if there ever is a next time I am invited to Sunday dinner, I'll eat the onions! I still love you, and I hope you still love me, even though I am just a dumb-bunny.If you can forgive me, please call me so we can make-up,would you? I really miss having a mom I can talk to...that's you.

Signed, your daughter-in-law,

Your little Cherub.

(Yeah. We made up.)

OUI?

AH! THE JOYS OF BEING ALONE! VERSES THE PAIN OF BEING IN LOVE!

I know this is going to sound very peculiar, but one of the joys of my life, as a writer, is being alone.Especially on nights like this, Valentine's day night, when couples are gadding about, swearing their undying love, and going so far out of their way to prove it with expensive gifts, and romantic gestures! Oh, yes, I have been in love,madly, passionately, painfully...Lord! It gives me a headache just to think about it! But, you know, throughout all the literature and poetry of the subject of love, no one ever warned me that it doesn't feel like heaven all the time. In fact, when you come right down to it, rarely does it feel like heaven.More often, it feels like insanity. Desperate to be with that person, one finds themselves doing the most ridiculous things,going out at odd hours, unasked, hoping to catch a glimpse of that wonderful one. How idiotic can a person be? Or, conversely, doing whatever they ask of you, no matter how much trouble it is, just to make them happy...which doesn't work anyway, because if they aren't happy to begin with, whatever you do isn't going to change that. In order for two people to be truly happy, they must first be happy within themselves,and then come together to share their joy. So, this myth of someone coming along and changing your life,and then you will be happy, is a complete fabrication.That goes right along with this idea that no, I am not perfect, but in order for us to be together, you must look a certain way,and dress a certain way, or I won't be pleased to be with you. Now, how much sense does that make? I am what I am, however, YOU must be perfect...my ideal, or your history! HUH! Hey, there's the door, fella!

The whole thing gets to be so tiresome after a while. After enough of the games and the demands, one finally wakes up and realizes that the whole mess is just to distract you from all those things you want to do, but you can't because you must be dancing attendance upon another person.If they really cared about you as much as they profess, they would lay off with the snatch and grab sessions, stop trying to turn every waking moment in their presence into some sort of love fest!  But no! they keep it up and keep it up, until it all becomes so irksome, you just want to scream, Hey! Shut up, sit down and read  a book or something and give me a chance to breathe and think, without the constant pressure! My last engagement ended rather abruptly one night, when he absolutely would not leave me alone! His idea of affectionate attention was either staring at me...or always and forever touching me, intimately.Where I like affection as much as the next person, this was beyond displays of passion, it was downright pushy! I had enough! I sat him down and told him so, very frankly.I don't want or need you hung around my neck like a lovelier! I am in no mood for this tonight.His response set me off! "But, I can't help myself! I love you!" And he reached for me again! I didn't even think! I said," Stop it!" Pushed him away, and stood up, heading for the door.In that moment it became abundantly clear to me that I would not be able to stand being married to a man who was going to act this way all the time! I knew I had to get him out of my house, before I lost my temper and got angry enough to be violent...because I was thinking about the baseball bat I had hanging in the broom closet right next to the back door!

" I do believe it is time for you to leave." Was all I said. I meant for now, but soon learned that he thought I meant forever! Oh well!

He instantly hung his head, stood up and followed me to the door, which I opened for him, and suddenly he seemed deflated.Without another word, he left, like a whipped puppy. I felt sorry for him, but not enough to rescind the order. Had I done that, there would have been no stopping him again.He would have taken any sign of weakeness on my part, even a kind word, as having triumphed over all my objections. That was the end of our relationship. He never came back, or called,until over a year later, and then it was just to ask if he could stop and visit,as a friend.I agreed,and he did, and was good as gold.

But, it was a close call.

So now, on nights like this, when I am tempted to feel sorry for myself, because I don't have a someone to come and bring me flowers and candy and things, I think of that night, and I sigh,relieved. Sure, I get those feelings from time to time, but I wait a minute, and think back, and the feeling goes away!

And the feeling is so much easier to get rid of than the wrong person.

OUI?