When I first start to wake up, it is a struggle.I feel that familiar urge, that says Mrs. Murphy is calling, and I resist.My bed feels so warm and comfy, and I turn over, and mumble( to myself, because, of course, nobody's there but Molly) " I don't want to get up." But Molly hears me. She knows it's just a matter of time before I roll out of the waterbed,and she is up and ready to accompany me to the kitchen.Today, when I finally swung that good leg over and out...you know, the one that doesn't need the total knee replacement...and planted it on the floor, I swear I accidentally caught Molly with one of my toenails as she went to leap over and past me to beat me to the door.I felt bad about it and even said, Oh, sorry Molly, but she acted like she didn't even notice.By the time I got in my chair, and found my glasses, puffer, and my thermal cup of ice water, backed out the door far enough to turn my oxygen concentrator off, ( or as I call it," the Groaner"because that is the sound it makes)Molly is sitting in front of the kitchen door, looking back at me,and then back to the door, like, well, come on mommy, let's go, I'm starving! I haven't had a bite of meow mix, or a bowl of friskies in four hours! And then as I reach the door, and try to get to the doorknob, she is encouraging me by rubbing her face on my footplate...which is sooo helpful when I am trying not to run into her.But, finally I manage, and swing the door wide, so she can rush in and attack her feeding station.This is three bowls, one for dry food, one for moist food, and one for water, set up on a cute little mat that says," I love my cat " with cute little cat footie prints all over it, and hearts.This is "protectively" surrounded by my walker, and along side of that, two canes.All of which is located right next to the bathroom door.(Well, c'mon.How did you think I got from my chair to the commode, anyway?) So, now I must swing the chair around,so I can head it into the bathroom, at least as far as it will fit, and then decide just how much help I am going to need to make it the three or four steps to the seat.Sometimes, there is no time to decide,and I just sort of bounce off walls and hang onto cupboard knobs to get there, but this is not one of those times.I went to nest late, so I didn't make it up in time to take my ten o'clock pills,and my knee is throbbing, and my back is...doing it's thing too, so I grab a cane and lurch to my feet and forward all in one fluid motion,with great economy of time and movement I make that necessary connection without an instant to spare.Oh, the relief! As Mrs. Murphy and I are discussing things of moment, such as Niagara falls, It occurs to me that it is strange that God would put the most difficult part of this whole thing getting up, first....that of GETTING OUT OF BED! Then, while still seated, I go through my routine of waking up the rest of the way.I give my puffer a good shaking,and then two squirts, and breathe in and hold it, and cough, clearing out my bronchial tubes,and then a nice long drought of ice water, which has gone warm! (yuk!) In case your wondering, naturally I took those things with me, not only in my manual chair, but also while trecking across the bathroom.One just has to work out a system of transporting things from room to room, or learn how to stash duplicates of everything in every room.BUT, since my puffer prescription only allows me one refill every two weeks, that's not going to happen, and if I tried placing an ice water cup everywhere I go, I would never end going around the kitchen table for ice.So, finally my breathing clears out,and I trundle back to my chair,and head for the kitchen table.I focus,and sure enough, I am way late on my pills. I went to nest about 8:32, and it is now after I A.M....Pill time is 10 P.M., so yeah, that explains the multiple areas of what my Doctor laughingly calls, discomfort.First I turn on the T.V., and it is the late showing of Jay leno, and I cue up the VCR to tape headlines.Sometime during these motions I have already grabbed my blood sugar kit,opened it,and unzipped the mesh pouch where all the accutraments live,set the meter, and cocked the lancer,swabbed the site,and procured two paper towels.This is all pretty much automatic by now.Now, I have to get a nice drop of blood.Capillary blood. Finger tips are best, so I decide which one it will be,and lance, squeeze,touch the drop with the meter strip,and set it carefully down, level, and wrap my bleeding finger with a paper towel.28 seconds later, I hear a beep and the result is displayed.78.Medium low.I stuff a small dried fig into my mouth, and grab my pen to make note of the reading...which is sort of tricky, because I am still swathed with a paper towel on my right hand, and so now, I must continue to keep pressure on the blood spot, and write at the same time.Once that is managed, I discard the strip, close the meter, and pack the meter and lance back in it's case for next time, zip it shut, close up the kit,and take my cup and make my way around the table to the refrigerator, to the freezer side, so I can get some ice into my room temperature ice water.Meanwhile, Molly is reaching up to me, talking loudly, so with a glance back at her feeding station, I see she has done away with practically everything. I Ice my cup, find her open can of food, grab her new box of Meow Mix, and then Teddy, who sits right next to me at this point, begins to let me know he too would be interested in food and water.So I stand back up, grab his bottle of seed,and sit down again. Teddy first.Not just because he is the loudest, but because he has no way to get anything for himself. He is totally dependent upon us...so he gets a nice refill of his seeds,and I pull his water cup out, and set it as far around the table as I can reach.Then I set Molly's foods over there, too. Backing up around the table is so exacting, that I cannot carry anything with me.So, the ice water gets set as close to my side of the table as I can reach as well.Good thing it's a round table.Then comes the obstacle course, in reverse.In front of me is the refrigerator. To my left is the table.To my right is the back door,and then along that entire wall is a built in desk.At the very corner of the desk, practically at my elbow, is Teddy's enormous cage, then the old computer, and lastly, the fish tank.On the floor, is the weight scale Yon son uses every day, usually pulled out from the knee hole of the desk.The scale, four jugs of proofed tank water, the wire stand-up basket on wheels which holds the kitchen box fan is next, and behind that, are two crock pots that noone has seen fit to put away, so they languish on the floor.Also, usually in this line up of things to avoid running into or over, is a garbage bag, filled to capacity, that should have been taken out to the garage when Yon son left, but usually doesn't make it out for a while.After I have gone past these articles, it is a straight shot, with nice wooden cupboards and the stove on the right, and on the left,pushed in to the table as far as it will go,is an adjustable desk chair, with six or eight wheels I must avoid.If I get too close to the cupboards, I will scratch them...should I try too hard to avoid scratching the wood, I could get tangled up with the wheels on the desk chair, and then I will have to pull forward, and re-align, and try again.As soon as I am past the desk chair, it is time to move all the articles I am trying to move around the table.The two things of cat food, and my ice water cup, as well as Teddy's water cup. Should I turn towards the table too soon, I will invariably find a way to get my chair tangled up with the big and lovely stove, somehow, some way.My wheels will catch a door or handle, or my chair's handles will mess with the on-off knobs, and I will not be able to move, until I again realign myself. Once free of the stove...or more perfectly, avoiding altogether clashing with the stove, I can now take care of the thirsty bird and hungry cat.I take Teddy's cup and my cup to the sink, pull myself up and fill my cup first. Pour the old water off Teddy's cup into the plants by the window, right next to the sink, and put his cup in the sink,and turn on the hot water to scald it. While that is going, I sit down and wheel over the the silverware drawer, for a spoon to clean out the old dried up food Molly will NOT eat, and pick up her dish on the way back to the sink. I empty the aforementioned dried stuff into the garbage , shove Teddy's now clean cup over and rinse Molly's dish, and the spoon I just used.I fill the by now screaming Teddy's cup with cool water,and as he sees me doing this, the wordless screaming turns into " pretty bird,pretty bird, pretty bird...quack, quack,quack! kisskisskiss," and he ends it all with a series of wolf whistles.All of this time, all around the table, to the sink, to the drawer,and to the garbage and back to the sink, I have been accompanied by a cat, circling, meowing and reaching up with her paws, trying to reach her food,standing on tippy-toe on her hind legs,completely unaware how difficult she is making it for me to move quickly without taking a chance I might hurt her. Therefore, to settle her down, instead of making a bee-line for Teddy's cage and giving him his water, I slap one and a half spoonfuls of moist food into her now clean dish,and pick up the other bowl as soon as I put the other down, pour in the dry food, and place it on the floor, where a now quiet, stationary and contented cat has her little fuzzy butt down, and then I go take Teddy his water.I go back to my accustomed place at the table, only to realize, I still haven't decided what to eat, so I can take my pills.I reach for my cup, to have a nice cold drink, but it isn't there. I left it at the sink,so I whip around, grab my cup and turn back,and it's time for headlines.I start the tape, and sit and drink for a moment. I'm not really hungry, but all but one of my five pills require being taken with food.That one is to control my blood sugar, which I take whenever I eat.Sandwich? Too much carbs.My orange? Too acid, not enough content to protect my stomach.On and On it goes, until I give up and have an english muffin,(with raisins) and my orange.Jay is over, I turn off the tape,and the T.V., toast the muffin, and butter it, decant my pills, take a sharp knife and my orange, put them all on a plate, pick up my cup and puffer,and head for the dinning room, to turn on the computer.How do I do it? Well, the puffer goes in the bank of bra,the cup goes on my left leg.Holding the plate and paper towel in my left hand, resting on the cup, I move the chair with my right hand,which works great until I get to the door, which also has a slight incline, so that I must push with my elbows to get through the door, then it's just kind of limp along until I can get around the dinning room table to the computer desk and TA-DA! Here I am! OOps! I'll be right back, my water pill just kicked in...
Now, it's time to wake up,and get to work...or ah..wait a minute! Oh, well. It's easy, when you know how! So easy, in fact that some people ask me, what do you do all day? Ha! What do you think? Should I tell them? Nah! We'll just keep it between us.They'd never believe it, anyway.After all, what did I do? I took a nap, got up, went to the bathroom, ran my blood sugar, fed the cat and the bird, and fixed myself a snack,and went to the computer.No big deal, right?
OUI?
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