It is hard to understand how these things are decided. Most men have so little difficulty in fathering a child, that often, it is the furthest thing from their minds when they are involved in such.Frequently, the announcement is not met with delight and happiness,and so often, anymore, the reaction is complete horror.Rejection and abandonment are the norm.Persons in the Limelight might put up a happy front, but I suspect that many a new father, would have rather waited a very long time before having that title or position bestowed upon them.But, having a high profile, being in the public eye, they must accept all this entails, regardless of their true feelings. In cases like this, No one really knows, including the man himself, what kind of father he is going to be, but most tough it out, and learn how to behave, so as not to scandalize the public, and have their reputation destroyed, or at the very least, compromised, by the general knowledge that they lack the skills, or the ability to be an adequate parent.
And then, we have the other side of the coin. One man in a million may actually be wanting to have children, but for one reason or another, haven't been blessed with that happy occurance. Men who have all the love in the world to give to their child. Who would be caring and loving and fun,and would protect and defend their home and family with their very lives. Yet, it seems all too often, to these very men, there is no happy announcement forthcoming, no "junior" on the way. They think about it all the time, and it is always hard to see a commercial on T.V. with happy shining faces shrieking" Hi daddy!" or " I love you daddy!", and they tear up,and turn their faces away, so as not to see it, or to be seen. So, at this time of year, when all around them they see and hear over and over, "Father's day" the pain must be excruciating. But, what is a man to do? Women, if they want children, have many options open to them, if they and their husbands have the money. Of even if they are unmarried, if they have an income to support a child, can adopt, have invitro fertilization, or engage a surrigate mother. But, what's a man to do when he is married to a woman who doesn't want a child, or has had an operation to make her infertile, or simply doesn't want to be bothered with the problems of raising a child? What about married men who are seperated from their wives,or divorced? A man in such a position has little or no options. People look strangely at a man who wants to adopt a child, by himself. It is out of the question if he only earns an average income...and a poor man is simply out of luck. A poor woman can get pregnant time after time, have as many babies as she wants,and no one says or does anything about it.Fine. But what about the agony a childless man goes through year after year, wanting children, and has no where to turn, and meanwhile, the "Players" are churning out babies left and right, not knowing, nor caring that they have been given a precious gift,and they throw it away with both hands? Such things makes one wonder. Shouldn't there be a people connection, where men who want to be fathers can meet women who need a father for their expectant child? What about surrigate mothers giving a freebie to a man who is so anxious to be a father, that he tears up when the word is heard? Now, I am aware that there are some out there who think there is something unbalanced about a guy who wants kids. They suspect something kinky is going on, or some such. But, no. This is not one of those cases. I know a young man, who has such a love and compassion for children that he has wanted to be a father for years, and for one reason or another, still, does not have them. It used to be, that a man in his position could coach baseball, or some other sport in which he had skills, and lavish his fatherly affection on other people's kids that way. But given the climate of the world today, he knows that others would look at his interest in children with a jaundiced eye, and he shys away from all appearance of impropiety. So, there he is. Frustrated.With all this love to give, and no one to give it to. You would think, that somewhere, someone out there would want this wonderful kind man in their lives. And yet, society, in order to protect the children, has raised all these barriers, bars,and fences, and made him feel that his love and interest in children is not wanted.
So, this Father's day, if you are a father, whose maybe taken your child or children for granted, think twice before you pass up even one more chance to spend the day with him,her or them. Show that you love and appreciate the fact that you have them.And thank God that you weren't delt a much different hand in life.
OUI?
Comments