It takes time to know a woman, because you have to do something unusual. You have to learn her ways, and in order to learn her ways, you must watch, and listen.There's an old saying, "You don't learn anything by talking." But, if she is a quiet woman, you must draw her out. Ask questions, and get her to talking. Most women don't need any encouragement to talk, once they really feel comfortable.However, there are exceptions. Again, even if you think you've made her feel comfortable, and you ask questions, she still may not open up right away, so time is important. She has to feel completely unthreatened and unpressured, so it's not always what you say, as the way you say it.Do not interrogate her, or make her feel you have any ulterior motive, other than the offer of a sympathetic ear, a shoulder to cry on. If getting her to talk to you is difficult, you might try watching her with her friends,and then listen to what she says about them once they leave. Does she talk about them behind their back? If the answer is no, then you know she can be a good friend. If yes, then perhaps you don't want to know much more about her. Look at her. Is she clean and neat, and well groomed, or is she sloppy and dirty? Are her personal surroundings pleasant and clean, or a jumbled mess? Either way, don't be too quick to judge.There's an old riddle that goes this way: You want to get a hair cut, and there are only two barbers in town. You go to one, and his shop is immaculate.The floor is clean, the mirrors sparkle, and all his implements are lined up ready for use, just as they should be.His hair is well groomed and perfectly cut, and trimmed well.There is no one waiting, and he offers to put you in the chair right now, but you say only,maybe later. You go to the second barber,and it's a completely different story. There are five customers waiting, there's hair all over the floor, and His combs and scissors are haphazardly placed on the counter, his bottles of lotions and potions are here and there,his mirrors are smudged and even as you watch, he has to wipe one off, so his customer can see the back of his head. Finally, his hair is a wreck, unevenly cut and badly trimmed. So. Which barber should you go to? If you guessed barber number one, you would be wrong. Why? Because the barbers have to go to one another for their hair to be cut. Barber number two is obviously too busy to sweep his floor, or shine his mirrors. He had customers lined up, waiting, because of the two, he is the better barber!
So! She might be just very conscientious, and orderly, or she might be vain. She might not care about being clean, or she is so busy trying to help others, she has no time for herself.As an old Greek boss of mine used to say, "You pay 'tench!" Pay attention to details. If you really want to know a woman, you have to care about her enough to want to understand what motivates her decisions and drives her to action.
Oh, by the way. If you really want to know a woman, in the biblical sense, read the bible, song of Solomon. If you really want to know a woman in the every day sense, get to know her mind, and then Perhaps, you will know her....if you can keep up. Real women never stop growing.
OUI?
Comments