What kind of friend are you? Do you enjoy your friends,and encourage them to have fun, or do you possess them, and get jealous if they happen to have other companions? Is your affection for others so strong,you can't stand the notion that they might speak to someone else they might like better? I have a friend who has such a person who lives next door to her, and this person is very pushy, possessive, suspicious,and at the same time,accuses my friend of being nasty to her! Now, these are not juveniles, or adolescents, these are mature people. I am not taking this only on hearsay, both my friend and I have known this person for years, and I have always considered my friend to have the patience of Job to allow this sophomoric behavior to go on. How she remains so thoughtful and kind when the only thing she gets in return is idiotic utterances is beyond me. That having been said, I will endeavor to give you thumbnail sketch of the situation. You will forgive and understand, I trust, if I do not use any names.I wouldn't like either of them to have it noised back to them that I had Identified them, however, should you figure out on your own who these individuals are, well, that's none of my affair.I just had another long talk with my friend, and now, well, I'm on a rant.Decades ago, they met,just after my friend opened a new supper club,and this person was a regular customer, along with a fiancee.A while went by, and the date for the wedding was set, but the couple never made it to the altar.After leaving the supper club one night,the car was wrecked, and the fiancee, who had been riding in the passenger's seat, was killed.The survivor was terribly wounded,and my friend went to the hospital to visit,and try to console them.Once out of the hospital, this person still came to the supper club,and my friend would do all sorts of nice things because that is just the type person she is.The driver of the wreaked vehicle followed her when she moved,and found an apartment in the same building. Since then, she has moved several times, and this person finally came right out and asked my friend not to leave them behind, they had nobody else in the world, and didn't want to be alone. My friend is the kindest, most polite of persons, and would go out of her way not to hurt anyone's feelings. Although she had her reservations, it didn't seem like too much to ask, and she agreed, thinking she wouldn't want to be all alone in the world,either.She, in fact, promised.So, through the years I have known her, this person has become a part of her household. She has cooked, cleaned and done the laundry, while this person sat around and ate the food and soiled the dishes and the ashtrays and the clothes and the bedding, and did nothing to contribute but empty vodka bottles,and surly remarks. My friend used to be well fixed, but about 8 years ago, she had a heart attack, and had to quit teaching.She had to retire, and go on disability. She lost her house, her cars, and her money.She moved to a high-rise, with federally subsidized rent,and could not have anyone living with her.So, what does this person do, but move in right next door, and insist that my friend put her on the lease as the person to contact, and with that she is allowed to have a key to my friend's apartment,so this person can just barge in, any time of the day or night...and does! Now, my dear friend has always been a fabulous cook. She loved to do it, and she did it well, cooking several meals ahead in one day, so that she was free to go places and do things she liked to do, at any time,and when she got home, it took her no time at all to throw a wonderful meal together.But, as her health declined, so did her ability to even do the simplest chores, so she is no more able to cook and clean. However, this person next door, doesn't fathom that. She has always cooked, so now this person still expects to come over in the evening, and have a supper ready for her. Even if my friend was feeling unwell, and tried to sleep, this person would charge in,and wake her up and say, where's dinner? So, a while back this person was told, I'm sorry, but I can't cook for you anymore. In fact, I have a homemaker coming several times a week, to do my cooking and cleaning and do laundry,and run me to the doctor all the time. This news did not set well, and this person told my friend, well, if that's the way you feel about it,I guess I can eat cold meat sandwiches and little Debbie cakes, but don't expect to use my car to go anywhere. And yet, this person, to this day, is still waging a campaign to get my friend to start cooking again! To top it all off, this person knows that now my friend is indigent, and has no way to go places for fun, but with her,but instead of being nice, she is sneaky. She brings over steaks and says, wouldn't you like to have a steak, when she knows my friend is living on salad and iced tea,and when my friend turns her down, she takes the steaks and goes home, throws them in the fridge,and has a sandwich. Many times when I invite my friend over, it is not only because we have a great time together,but also, so that she can come here to get away from her next door neighbor, so her blood pressure and her nerves can calm down.
I know she made a promise. But just the same, some things are just too far over the top to be born. Were it me, I'm very much afraid I would have broken that promise a long time ago, and probably thrown that person bodily, out of my house, forever! So, my question is this.If this person is so afraid of being alone, why is she being such a witch to the only person she claims she has left in the world? The one person who has put up with her shannigans,although, god knows why, for all these years? Fortunes have changed, and this person now makes twices as much as my friend. Wouldn't you think that out of some sense of apprechiation, or gratitude, this person would now want to help out the, quote, only person she has left in the world? Or, is there a higher purpose to this whole long sad tale of woe? Should this be our chance to reflect on how we treat the ones we call friend? If you consider your life, not just as your life, but as an example of how a human being should relate to another human being, would your story come out as a cautionary tale, or as a shinning example of love and patient,thoughtful kindness,irregardless of whether or not your works were rewarded in this life?
OUI?
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