Do you protect yourself, or do you allow others to take advantage of you? It is an important question,and one that only you can answer. When a friend offers to sell you something, do you look at the item, go over it carefully, and then think about it, or do you buy it, sight unseen, and not bother to get a receipt? After all, this is your pal, your buddy, you can trust your friend,can't you? NO! You cannot trust everyone. In fact, trust no one, unless they are living in your pockets and even then, tread carefully. ACK! I can hear you saying, but what is life, what is friendship without trust? Exactly my point. Trust is earned. Someone very close to me has fallen for a scam, so diabolical, so utterly unbelievable, that it has caused me to step up to my soapbox once again, just to warn you. Don't say it can't happen, it can. Don't say He or she would never do that to me, they would and they can and they will, if you let them! I've been around the block a time or two,and I know of what I speak. The human heart is not only the seat of love and all that implies, it is also desperately wicked,and deceitful, and friend or no friend, people will rip you off, given half a chance. And, if you allow yourself to be hurried, to be buffaloed, to be flim-flammed, then you haven't been paying attention. These things are predictable, and if you know what to look for, when the signs show, a warning bell ought to go off in the back of your mind saying " all is not as it should be, here." With any luck at all, you won't shrug your shoulders,and say," I'm just being paranoid" and then go ahead and put your neck in the noose. The first warning flag will be small. Long before the actual "sting" takes place, there will be occasions when this person does not come through with what they say they are going to do. They will let you down, or you will hear of them letting someone else down.Whichever way it goes, it is a red flag. I'm not just talking about being late on occasion. I am talking a pattern here. Joe is late, and doesn't call. If your first thought is, well, that is normal for Joe, Hey Red flag! But, it isn't always that innocent. Good old Joe has a way of coming up with new stuff,when he just told you he's broke, and if you question him about it,he just gives you a sly smile, and no explanation, that should be another red flag! Perhaps, your real boosum buddies,and good old Joe has let you in on some truly nefarious schemes or actual illegal dealings in the past. Huge red flag! Of course, he did those things when he was young and stupid, to strangers, who probably had it coming. He wouldn't do such a thing to a pal,would he? General knowledge tells us, if he will do it to someone else, with enough provocation, he will also do it to you. If he, or she, is willing to break the law, what is a little rip-off between friends? I mean, your pals. What are you going to do? Call the law? besides which, if he is slick enough, he can get you in a hurry enough so that you have nothing in writing, nothing on paper, that even says you gave him or her any money for the item. It's your word against his...or her's. A good rule of thumb should be, once that money leaves your hands, and you have no proof the deal was made, you might just as well consider it a gift, because chances are, you will never get the item, or the money back. So, how about this. Joe comes to you and says" I see you have a real nice roto-tiller. I want to put a garden in, and I don't ever see you use that thing. How about letting me have it?" Your caught off-guard, he doesn't even give you a chance to think," Be a pal, won't you? I only have this afternoon to get started on it, so, how about it?" You make a sound, and he runs with it. "Alright! I just happen to have my truck out back, c'mon and help me load it up!" Now, this is where, in an old sit-com, you would hear the woman in the audience say "uh-oh!" and general laughter, because it is so obvious that old Joe has just put one over on his pal. He didn't say borrow, or loan, he said, let me have it. This is one of those cases when the scam artist tells the victim the truth and they are too honest, or too slow on the uptake to get it, until Joe has had the roto-tiller for days or even weeks,and finally you go to his house and ask for it back. He puts you off. and puts you off,and puts you off, until you either forget about it, or he is forced to say to you with a straight face," but you gave it to me." Naturally, these are just examples of ways in which you can be taken advantage. There are as many ways to be scammed or ripped-off, as there are people in the world. Normally, men do these tricks to other men, but women do them too. However, women will also use their feminine wiles to turn a man's head,and then lower the boom on him. But, it happens to happily married men, who have no intention or interest in the woman, but for the fact that she is nice looking, and men, being men, will do things for a pretty girl they wouldn't do for anyone else.And, by the same token, a great deal of men will use their looks to con women. This situation is so full of pitfalls and dangers, I feel it necessary to mention that most con-men won't con a woman for items, but rather for either money, from an older woman who is pleased to be noticed, or for sexual favors, if she is the least bit attractive, of any age. Just as an aside, most women won't con women, because most women have an instinctual distrust of other women, but it has been known to happen. When it does, there are usually two components in place, one is a difference in age, and the other is, sympathy. There are no hard and fast rules for looking out to be taken advantage of, because it can happen in any way, by anyone, for anything,to anyone. Just let me say, as a word of caution, somewhere, in your circle of friends and family, there could be someone, sizing you up. Maybe not. But if there is,that person is probably the last person you would expect to deal falsely with you. But, before you start imagining everyone is out to get you, remember this. If a red flag goes up, be cautious, but don't accuse. Don't let people trade on your friendship, or your relationship.If it is your intent to "loan", then get a promissory note, or I.o.u.,otherwise, it is a gift. Don't confuse the two, even with family members. Cash for valuables is a business proposition. Be businesslike,and get it in writing. If you give someone money, and you have nothing for it but their word, think to yourself, "goodbye money." and consider it gone. Then, when they don't pay you, you won't go crazy trying to figure out how to get it back. On the other hand, if they do pay you back, you'll be pleasantly surprised. And, finally, If your daughter calls you up and says" MOM, I need your help!red flag Would you please take out a loan for us red flag,and we'll pay you back in a week,red flag for sure!" Humongous red flag!! Yell,NO! and hang up immediately, before she can go into her long song and dance about how the kids are starving, and the gas and lights are going to be shut off,and they couldn't pay the rent so they wrote some bad checks and the car broke down and Mr. Wonderful has quit his job, so he could be home with her. Because, if you listen to all of that, you will cave-in, and before you know it, you will find yourself spiraling down into a whirlpool of payday loans that will never end,and you will never be paid back, in the right way. You will find yourself trying to buy enough food to last you for the month on $9....with no end in sight.
And you. If you have ever done such a despicable thing to your own mother, shame on you!
OUI?
Posted by: Heather | June 29, 2005 at 07:19 PM