I'VE HEARD ABOUT IT SINCE I WAS LITTLE, PLAYING WITH MY
FIRST TYPEWRITER...HOW I LOVED THAT TOY! BUT MORE ABOUT
THAT LATER.
RIGHT NOW, IT IS THE HORRIFYING BLANK PAGE THAT I HAVE
READ ABOUT, AND HEARD OF SPOKEN IN DISMAYED,WHISPERED,
OR SHOUTED TONES THAT IS ON MY MIND.
MY MOTHER WROTE POETRY, AND SHE WAS A BIG INSPIRATION
TO ME,(HENCE, THE TOY TYPEWRITER) BUT SHE WAS AS I AM..
FAR FROM BEING DAUNTED BY THE BLANK PAGE, SHE WAS, AS
I SAID BEFORE, I AM, SUDDENLY INSPIRED, WOULD RUSH TO
HER NOTE PAD, OR TYPEWRITER, IN THE MIDDLE OF DINNER,
OR THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, ANXIOUS TO GET IT DOWN
AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. ART, AS THEY SAY, COMES
FROM SOMEWHERE. WHETHER YOUR TALKING PAINTING,
(WE DO THAT TOO) OR POETRY, OR STRAIGHT WRITING.
YOU GET AN IDEA, AND THEN, BIT BY BIT, IT GOES. ONCE IT IS
GONE, IT'S GONE.
SO, THE BLANK PAGE HOLDS NO FEAR FOR ME, IT IS ONLY AN
OPPORTUNITY .
PERHAPS IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT, IF I DIDN'T ALREADY HAVE
BOX AFTER BOX OF BOOK ALREADY WRITTEN. I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE, IF I WERE BETTER AT SELLING MY IDEAS BEFORE I
WROTE THEM, AND HAD A CONTRACTUAL OBLIGATION....
THEN THAT PAGE WITH NOTHING ON IT MIGHT FRIGHTEN
ME INTO FREEZING UP. THAT MIGHT DO IT.BUT, ART OF ANY
STRIPE SHOULDN'T HAVE A PRICE TAG ON IT WHILE IT IS BEING
COMPOSED. IT PREVENTS THE FLOW OF CREATIVE JUICES TO
WORRY ABOUT TIME...AND QUALITY. BEAUTY AND COLOR
ARE STAUNCHED WHEN ONE MUST STOP RELATING IMAGES
IN ORDER TO STAY INSIDE SOME SUPERIMPOSED GUIDELINES.
ALTHOUGH IT SEEMS TO WORK FOR SOME, I HAVE ALWAYS
STAYED AS FAR AWAY FROM "DEADLINES" AS I COULD.
I LOVE TO WRITE. BUT, AS SOON AS IT BECOMES "WORK"
IT'S NO FUN ANYMORE, AND THE JUICES BEGIN TO DRY UP.
OFTEN I HAVE BEEN OFFERED JOBS, WITH FORMULAS TO
FOLLOW, AND HAVE TURNED THEM DOWN, KNOWING THIS
QUIRK ABOUT MYSELF. I KNOW THERE ARE THOSE WHO
CAN FUNCTION BEAUTIFULLY UNDER THESE RESTRAINTS,
AND I WISH THEM WELL.
BUT I HAVE TO BE A FREE SPIRIT.
I MUST REMAIN THAT LITTLE KID, WITH THE TOY TYPEWRITER,
WITH ALL THE ALPHABETIC CHARACTERS ON THAT LITTLE
INKED WHEEL, PLAYING WITH WORDS, CREATING SUNSETS
AND LOVE SCENES, AND DRAMATIC MOMENTS, ONE LETTER
AT A TIME. I REMEMBER YOU HAD TO PUSH THOSE PLASTIC
KEYS SO HARD TO GET AN IMPRESSION ON THE PAPER, THAT
BY THE TIME I HAD FINISHED HALF A PAGE, MY FINGERS HURT.
BUT THAT DIDN'T STOP ME.
HAVING TO USE A ROYAL MANUAL DIDN'T STOP ME.
HAVING TO SNEAK IN A FEW PAGES LATE AT NIGHT AFTER
THE JOB AND THE CHILD CARE, AND THE HOUSEWORK DIDN'T
STOP ME.
HAVING MY LOCKED DESK WITH THE MANUSCRIPT AND
CONTRACT IN THE DRAWER STOLEN, DIDN'T STOP ME.
HAVING MY UNDERWOOD SCRIPTOR BREAK DOWN AND SIT
IN THE REPAIR SHOP FOR TWO MONTHS, TWICE, DIDN'T STOP ME.
AND NO BLANK PAGE IS GOING TO STOP ME,EITHER!
I CAN'T HELP IT.
I MUST WRITE!
OUI?
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