SO, I AM BACK. I HAVE RETURNED FROM MY LONG JOURNEY,
AND I AM SO GRATEFUL TO BE HOME AGAIN. ONE WOULD THINK,
FLOATING IN THE CLOUDS AMONGST THE VAPORS WOULD
SO QUIET AND RESTFUL, AND IT CAN BE THAT WAY. BUT, IF IT IS
NOT WHAT YOU'RE USED TO, IT CAN BE TOO QUIET.
PARTICULARLY WHEN ONE IS SEEKING SLEEP. NOW, DON'T GET
ME WRONG. I LOVE TO FLY. I DO MY BEST THINKING WHEN
I FLY. BUT, WHEN ONE IS ACCUSTOMED TO A SOFT NOISE
IN THE BACKGROUND, COMPLETE SILENCE CAN BE RATHER
NERVE WRACKING. EVEN BORING. (BUT DON'T TELL HIM I
SAID THAT) I SAID A SOFT NOISE. LET ME EXPAND ON THAT.
IT IS A RHYTHMIC IN AND OUT, RATTLING RUMBLE, COMPARABLE
TO A HUMAN BUZZ SAW. I HAVE HEARD IT EVERY NIGHT FOR
40 YEARS. WHY WOULDN'T I BE RELIEVED NOT TO HAVE TO
LISTEN TO IT OCCASIONALLY?
I AM BIZARRE, THAT'S WHY. YES, IT IS ODD. YET, IT IS TRUE
THAT IT IS ALL IN WHAT YOU ARE USED TO.
AFTER THE INITIAL SHOCK OF HEARING THAT NOISE, I WENT
THROUGH A PERIOD OF ADJUSTMENT. I ATTEMPTED IN EVERY
FEASIBLE WAY TO "CURE" THE SNORER OF HIS AFFLICTION.
SPRAYS AND PILLS, AND ELBOWS IN THE RIBS TO WAKE HIM, AND
MAKE HIM TURN OVER. NOTHING WORKED. YEARS WENT BY.
NOTHING CHANGED, BUT ME. AT LONG LAST, I HAD TO ACCEPT
THE SNORER JUST AS HE WAS. HE HAS SNORED SINCE HE WAS
A BABY. GOD MADE HIM THAT WAY, AND I JUST HAD TO GET USED
TO THE IDEA, AND LOVE HIM ANYWAY. IN SPITE OF HIS BEING
A HUMAN BUZZ SAW, I LOVED HIM.
NOW, YOU MAY THINK I AM SOME KIND OF SAINT, TO OVERLOOK
SUCH A GLARING IMPERFECTION. NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER
FROM THE TRUTH. IF I AM A SAINT, IT IS ONLY BECAUSE I AM
BORN AGAIN, AND NOT BECAUSE I HAVE SHARED MY HOME WITH
A MAN WHO RATTLES THE WINDOWS ALL NIGHT LONG. WHY?
BECAUSE AN AMAZING TRANSFORMATION HAS OCCURRED OVER
THE YEARS. I NO LONGER "TOLERATE" HIS SNORING. I AM
USED TO IT. I EXPECT IT. IN FACT, I WORRY ABOUT HIM, IF
I DON'T HEAR IT! BESIDES WHICH, I AM FAR FROM PERFECT
MYSELF!
IT IS TANTAMOUNT TO LIVING NEXT TO A RAILROAD TRACK.
AT FIRST, IT DRIVES YOU NUTS. BUT, AFTER A WHILE, YOU
HARDLY HEAR IT ANYMORE. IT IS SOMETHING LIKE THAT WITH
THE HUMAN BUZZ SAW. IT IS A HOMEY, COMFORTING SOUND.
LIKE THE CRACKLE OF THE FIRE, OR THE SOFT RUMBLE FROM
A PURRING KITTEN. OR THE BUBBLE OF A SKILLET FULL OF
FOOD ON THE STOVE.
IT SAYS, WE ARE HOME, SAFE, AND WARM, AND ALL I LOVE
IS UNDER THIS ROOF.
YES, IT SURE IS NICE TO BE HOME AGAIN...
OUI?
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