YOU KNOW, IT IS LITTLE WONDER THAT SO MANY
RELATIONSHIPS SUFFER THESE DAYS. SO FEW OF US REALLY
KNOW HOW TO LIVE RIGHT. NO, I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT
DOING ALL THE RIGHT THINGS, NECESSARILY. ALTHOUGH,
TAKING CARE OF FIRST THINGS FIRST HAS SORT OF GONE
BY THE WAYSIDE.
FOR EXAMPLE. YOUNG ADULTS SEEM TO HAVE NO COMPUNCTION
ABOUT SPENDING MONEY ON NONSENSE, AND NOT HAVING
ENOUGH LEFT OVER FOR THE RENT, THE UTILITIES, AND
GROCERIES AND OTHER BILLS THAT SHOULD COME FIRST,
BEFORE THEY BUY THAT NEW GAME SYSTEM, OR PLASMA
T.V., AND IT'S A SHAME. THEY ARE SETTING THEMSELVES UP
FOR DIFFICULTIES THAT HAVE NO REASON TO EXIST,BUT FOR
THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE NO SALES RESISTANCE, AND NO
VISION FOR THE FUTURE, AND IT ALL STARTS, BECAUSE THEY
THINK THAT NEW TOY IS GOING TO MAKE THEM HAPPY.
HAPPINESS. THAT IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT. I WOULD BE
HAPPY IF I HAD THIS OR THAT, AND THEN THEY GO OUT AND
GET IT, AND ONCE THE NOVELTY WEARS OFF, THEN REALITY
SETS IN, AND THEY COME UP SHORT FOR THE AFOREMENTIONED
NECESSITIES. THEN THEY MUST SCRAMBLE TO COVER THIS
MONTHS BILLS, AND IN THE PROCESS, PUT THEMSELVES
EVEN FURTHER INTO DEBT. NO MATTER HOW THEY TWIST
SCHEME, OR JUGGLE, NEXT MONTH, THEY WILL HAVE THAT
TO PAY BACK, AS WELL AS THE USUAL BILLS, AGAIN.
IT'S LIKE THE RED QUEEN SAID TO ALICE:
"IT TAKES ALL THE RUNNING YOU CAN DO JUST TO STAY IN THE SAME
PLACE. IN ORDER TO GET ANYWHERE, YOU HAVE TO RUN TWICE AS
FAST."
AND IT JUST DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY.
SEE, SOMEHOW, THEY MISSED THE POINT. THAT HAPPINESS
IS NOT PURCHASED WITH MONEY. IT DOES NOT COME WITH
THINGS. LIFE CONSISTS NOT IN THE ABUNDANCE OF
THINGS THAT ONE POSSESSES, BUT IN PEACE OF MIND,
INNER TRANQUILITY, AND THE KNOWLEDGE THAT THEIR
RESPONSIBILITY OF MEETING THEIR NEEDS, AND FULFILLING
THEIR OBLIGATIONS IS DONE, IN A TIMELY MANNER.
STRANGELY ENOUGH, I ASSERT, THIS WHOLE PROCESS BEGINS
WITH TAKING CARE OF ONES OWN NEEDS.
CASE IN POINT:
AFTER FINALLY COMING HOME, I TOOK SOME TIME FOR MYSELF.
I SLEPT. WHEN I FINALLY STUMBLED OUT OF MY COMA, I FELT
ROUGH. EVEN THOUGH I WASHED UP WHILE I WAS GONE,
I JUST DIDN'T FEEL CLEAN UNTIL I HAD A NICE LONG BATH, WITH
BUBBLES, SHAMPOOED MY HAIR, SCRUBBED EVERY INCH, AND
SOAKED FOR A WHILE. I ESCHEWED THE RAUCOUS TELEVISION,
AND INSTEAD HAD SOME CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING. WHEN I
EXITED FROM THE BIRDBATH ,I HAD A VIGOROUS RUBDOWN
WITH A BIG TOWEL, WRAPPED MY HAIR IN A NICE THIRSTY
TOWEL, AND SET ABOUT TO PREEN AT MY LEISURE.
I PUT EXTRA CONDITIONING GLOP ON MY HEAD,AND WENT
SO FAR AS TO RE-RINSE MY HEAD IN THE SINK, JUST TO MAKE
SURE THAT MY HAIR WAS RINSED IN CLEAN WATER, NOT
BATH WATER. I CLEANED MY FACE WITH A FACIAL CLEANSER,
DEVOID OF SOAP, AND USED A COOL CLOTH TO RINSE IT WITH.
I CLIPPED FINGER NAILS AND TOE NAILS CAREFULLY, AND
THEN MOISTURIZED EVERYTHING. I TOWEL DRIED MY HAIR,
AND THEN LET IT AIR DRY, AND PUT ON A CLEAN OUTFIT.
I TOOK MY TIME, AND ENJOYED THE RITUAL, BECAUSE SOME
TIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO DO THAT. THIS WAS NOT A SLAP-
DASH AFFAIR.THERE WAS NO RUSHING ABOUT, NO HURRY.
I COULD FEEL THE CARES OF THE TRIP AND EVERY DAY
WORRIES DRIFTING AWAY THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE TIME.
THAT TIME WAS OF CONSEQUENCE, BECAUSE IT MADE MY
HOMECOMING PERFECT. I COULD LOOK ABOUT AND
APPRECIATE MY ABODE, FEEL RELAXED AND EXHILARATED,
AT THE SAME TIME.
I KNOW. YOU ARE WONDERING WHAT ALL OF THAT HAS TO
DO WITH RELATIONSHIPS. ONLY EVERYTHING.AFTER SUCH
A CALMING TIME, CAN YOU IMAGINE SOMEONE BEING ON
EDGE, SNIPPY OR CARPING? NO? ME EITHER.AFTER THAT,
ONE FEELS EASY GOING, CLEAN, COOL, COMFORTABLE,
NOT ICKY-STICKY SWEATY OR NERVOUS.
DID I FORGET TO MENTION, THAT I DO THIS, NO MATTER
WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON IN THE HOUSE? REGARDLESS OF
WHATEVER TURMOIL IS GOING ON, UNLESS IT IS A TRUE
EMERGENCY, BATH-TIME WILL CENTER ME, AND I CAN
HANDLE ANYTHING THEN. A DIFFERENCE OF OPINION IS
JUST THAT, NOT WORLD WAR THREE. I CAN REMEMBER TO
FIGHT FAIR, WITHOUT BACK BITING OR NAME CALLING.
IF I FEEL MYSELF STARTING TO LOOSE MY TEMPER, I CAN
WARN...GET OUT OF MY SIGHT FOR A WHILE, SO I CAN COOL
DOWN. AND, WHEN IT IS ALL OVER,IT'S OVER. NO
RECRIMINATIONS,AND I CAN STILL SAY, I LOVE YOU.
SO, YOU SEE, IT WAS ALL ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS AFTER ALL.
YOU CAN'T FEEL THAT SERENE WHEN YOUR NEARLY WORRIED
OUT OF YOUR MIND ABOUT MONEY, OR BILLS, OR WHETHER
YOUR GOING TO BE EVICTED, OR WHERE YOUR NEXT MEAL
IS COMING FROM. YOU WOULD BE FRANTIC. UNDER THOSE
CONDITIONS, THE SUGGESTION THAT A PERSON SHOULD
BE CALM WOULD CAUSE THEM TO LAUGH IN YOUR FACE.
I KNOW I WOULD.
WOULDN'T YOU?
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