I HAVE BEEN QUESTIONED, AND VIEWED WITH ALARM RECENTLY
FOR FALLING ASLEEP IN MY CHAIR.
YES, I DO IT, MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, AND NO, I DON'T FEEL GOOD
WHEN I AWAKE.
BUT THERE ARE TIMES, THAT IT IS EASIER THAN GOING TO
BED.
IT TAKES WORK, TO GO TO BED, AND THERE ARE
RESPONSIBILITIES, DUTIES, I CANNOT SHIRK.
SOUNDS SILLY, DOESN'T IT?
OKAY. FOR EXAMPLE;
I HAVE TO MAKE SURE THE CAT ISN'T IN THE KITCHEN WITH
THE BIRD AND THE FISH. FEED THE FISH, AND TURN OFF THE
LIGHT OVER THE TANK. TURN OFF THE OVERHEAD LIGHT, AND
CLOSE THE BATHROOM DOOR AND THE KITCHEN DOOR, TURN ON
THE BEDROOM LIGHT, AND THE FANS, GO BACK AND TURN OFF
THE DINNING ROOM LIGHT, TURN ON THE LAMP IN MY ROOM,
TURN OFF THE OVERHEAD, TURN ON MY OXYGEN
CONCENTRATOR, AND THEN, I CAN GET INTO BED, AS SOON AS
I HAVE SMOOTHED THE SHEETS, AND BANKED MY PILLOWS,
THEN THE REAL FUN BEGINS. I AM TRYING TO GET SETTLED,
TAKE OFF MY GLASSES, FIND MY BOOK,AND USE THE PUFFER,
GET A SIP OF WATER, WHILE THE CAT IS JOCKEYING FOR
POSITION ON THE BED. FIRST SHE IS IN THE MIDDLE, WHERE
I USUALLY PLANT MY BEHIND, SO I HAVE TO GENTLY SHOVE HER
OVER. ONCE I HAVE ATTAINED MY SPACE, SHE IS STOMPING
ACROSS MY LEGS, OR BALANCING ON THE GOLD-VELVET
COVERED WOODEN RAIL THAT FRAMES MY WATER-BED.
RIGHT THERE BETWEEN THE STAND-UP CANE WHERE MY AIR
HOSE IS KEPT, AND THE TABLE WHERE THE WATER, BOOK,
PUFFER AND CRYSTAL ASHTRAY WHERE MY GLASSES LIVE.
"MOLLY," I SAY,"PLEASE, HONEY, MOVE..." ALL THE WHILE
ATTEMPTING TO REACH AROUND HER. THIS IS ALMOST
IMPOSSIBLE, BECAUSE SHE IS WANTING PETTING AND COOING.
THAT IS WHEN I RESORT TO DIVERSIONARY TACTICS, AND FLUFF
THE THIN SHEET I USE TO COVER MY TOES, MEANWHILE,
WIGGLING SAID TOES. MOLLY FREEZES, EYES WIDE. SHE SEES
THE INTRUDER UNDER THE SHEET. SHE STALKS SLOWLY
TOWARDS THE FOOT OF THE BED, AND I WIGGLE MY TOES AGAIN.
SHE POUNCES. WIGGLE. POUNCE. WIGGLE.POUNCE.
BY THE TIME SHE REALIZES THAT IT IS ONLY MY FEET, I HAVE
TAKEN OFF MY GLASSES, USED THE PUFFER, GOT MY SIP OF
WATER, AND LOCATED MY BOOK AND AIR HOSE. I SETTLE BACK.
WITH LUCK, MY PILLOWS ARE RIGHT, AND SHORTLY MY
BREATHING SETTLES DOWN, TOO. THAT IS ON A GOOD NIGHT.
LIKE I SAID. SOMETIMES, I AM JUST TOO TIRED TO GO TO BED...
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