THOUGHTS AT THREE A.M.

SPRING IS ON IT'S WAY, AND RIGHT BEHIND IT, EASTER!!

Yeah, I know it's miserable weather out there for most of us, but I'm looking at the calendar,and the six day planner that tell me, it's time to be considering what to wear for spring weather, and for Easter Sunday! Now for a lot of you Mothers and Grandmothers, that means shopping. Buying something to dress your children up, or to give to your special grand-child. I suppose that in this day and age, that is all that can be expected, but what sort of memory does that leave behind for your child, or grandchild to look back on, when they are grown and you are either old and grey, or gone? Will they say," Well, she did the best she could?" How mediocre! How lukewarm. Nice enough, tinged with love, but hardly all out praise, is it? Now, I'm not talking to those of you who will go out and pick up a new pair of jeans and a top and figure that's enough. For you, there is nothing I can say to make any difference anyway. You don't dress yourself up for any holiday, and see no reason to make a big deal out of Easter for your kids except maybe buy them tons of candy and allow them to wear whatever they want, because after all, your not going to be taking them to church or anything. You might take them out to eat, at the local buffett,and who gets all gussied up to go out to eat anymore? No one you know, right? But for the rest of us, there just might be a better way to make an impact on our kids awareness,than to just take them shopping for a new outfit,and hope they don't ruin it before we can drag them to church Easter Sunday morning.

My parents did it with preparation. Okay, Dad didn't DO much actually,beyond stand around, his hands in his pockets,and look interested,while mother and grandmother worked on our clothes.That's right...worked on. As in, made. But given a chance, he would go with mother to the fabric shops, help her to pick out patterns, fabric, notions, (zippers,buttons,trim...) and help her decide whether to make mother and daughter outfits, or to make them all individual,and then, when the dresses were about half-made, he would take us all shopping for shoes, gloves, hats, purses and proper underpinnings. The half-way mark meaning it's too late now to change things, and by the time they were done, we would be all set for the big day, and have new outfits from the skin, out! I remember particularly one year, when by this time, mother and grams were sewing night and day. Mother worked away from home all day, but at night she would come in and start in right away. She had three dresses to make, One for herself, one for my sister,and one for me. The pattern was for a sundress,of sorts, with a square neck, puffed sleeves,and a full skirt. The fabric was light sheer cotton, with flowers on both edges,a sprinkling of flowers in the body of the slightly tinged white of the middle, and baskets of flowers on the lower edge, above the trim of flowers at the bottom.All three dresses used the same pattern, and she chose the same fabric, but with one difference. She chose a different color for each of us. So her dress was yellow, my sister's was lavender,and mine was pink. Which made perfect sense,since mother was a redhead, she couldn't possibly wear a dress in the red spectrum, it would turn her hair brown. But my sister and I were both blondes,and we couldn't possibly wear yellow...it would clash with our hair.To me it was nothing short of magical that mother or grama could take a piece of material, and turn it into a dress. And it was so beautiful! I loved that baskets of flowers dress! When I put it on, with six can-cans underneath,so the skirt was almost as wide as I was tall, I felt pretty! Then, I got to go to the store and pick out white patten leather shoes,and sox with frilly cuffs, and a purse to match and in lue of a hat, and pink and white bird-cage hat,which was nothing more than a head shaped netting, with bows and ribbons and little tiny birds all over it. Oh! And I got a new pair of white gloves too.I think that was also the year that my grandmother made me my first cape. It was black satin,and completely reversible. The other side, believe it or not, was chartreuse. Well, I wore that outfit to death, and I wore that cape to death too. Because it was made, just for me, with love. And it made me feel that holidays aren't just something to throw money at, but something special. Yeah,it's been a lot of years ago that all this took place, but the one thing my family did for me, was to point up when things are special, without  having to go through all the rounds of talking about things that a little child can't grasp. Besides, between church and our prayers at home,and the reverence they held for Holy day celebrations, it was clear to me that Easter was far more important than a basket of eggs, or candy!

And, after all, isn't that the kind of message you want your children to get?

OUI?

WHY WE DON'T LIKE WHAT WE SEE IN THE MIRROR!

When we are little, the mirror image is fascinating. But then after we realize that is actually our own faces, we begin to compare it to those around us. It doesn't take us long to start to find flaws, either in ourselves, or in others. Standards of beauty develop. Usually, what we see in others becomes more desirable than what we have. I have always had pin straight hair...I guess it just goes with the German and the Swedish in me. Although if I grow it long enough, it does have a nice wave to it.From little on, my mother, grandmother ,and sister have tried to get my hair to take a long lasting curl, and it just doesn't happen. Any time a big event was coming up, the night before was the same story. Shampooing, and curling my hair. If they used the curling iron, it would be beautiful when I went to bed,and be sweat out in the morning. If they tried putting rollers in my hair, any kind, even the soft pink foam ones, when I woke up the next morning, the rollers would be all around  me in the bed, and my hair would be hanging, weepily with just the barest hint of a curl. That set me up for a lifetime of trying to get that curly hair,and for the most part, failing miserably.

So yesterday, a pal,(She of the naturally curly hair variety) let me know that she had gone and had her hair straightened!I was appalled! Why would anyone pay good money (I hear the process is very expensive) to have straight hair?And then, it dawned on me. She must have thought many times, why would people go and pay good money to get their hair permed? I've tried it a few times, but was never really impressed with the results, because then no matter how it turns out, whether you like it or not, you're stuck with it until it grows out enough to be able to cut it off. Myself, personally, I like to leave my hair fairly long, and unprocessed,because even if it is a long drawn out ordeal to curl it, at least when I am done, if I don't like it, I can change it...(or just wait a day or two and it will change all by itself!) Also, it is more versatile this way. I have clips and scrunchies so I can get it up off my neck, or clear up on top of my head, or just brush it out and leave it hang.

Besides which, I have come to the conclusion that it is in the perverse nature of man to be discontented with what he has, and forever desiring of what he has not. People with curly hair want straight hair, and those of us with straight hair, want it curly. That is the whole premise of the billion dollar cosmetic industry!

So, there you go. Everybody seems to want what they don't have,simply because, they don't have it!

OUI?

JUST HOW BADLY DO YOU WANT TO GET NOTICED?

A number of requests have come down the pike, wanting to know how to get noticed,and an equal number of responses have been, " a see through blouse,and no bra." I am assuming that the seekers have been girls and the responses have been from men. If you are so anxious to be "noticed" that you will go for this dreadful advice, then you must want attention very "Badly"! Please, don't do this. Unless you are a pop star trying to rebuild your career,or an old woman with very sensitive skin, you won't get the kind of "notice" that will in any way, shape or form be what you desire. This is not the way to find the man of your dreams, this is the way to find a guy looking for a floozy for the night! Of course, if that is the type of impression you want to give, then go ahead and dress like a streetwalker,and you will be noticed.Not only by the guys on the make, as they say, but also by the local PD,watching you for signs of actual hooking going on, since that is what they will take you to be. Also, you may find your landlord looking strangely at you, and perhaps making demands on you that you'll find uncomfortable,like raising your rent,or just coming right out and asking you to move, because they run a nice place! And, don't be surprised if you have neighbors pulling their children away from you, and telling you not to talk to them. People have a way of responding negatively to young women who dress suggestively. You could find yourself with a reputation that precedes you, which you haven't actively earned, simply by the way you dress. And, that nice man, Mr. Right, whom you hope to find, fall in love with and he with you? Honey, he may see you, and even admire you from afar, but don't hold your breath that he is going to come after you with any serious intentions. In his eyes, you will be the woman his mother warned him about, good for one night, but not to marry!

So, what is a young woman to do who wants to be noticed,without running the risk of being misunderstood? Dignity.Be clean, be neat, and wear clothes that fit.Don't be wearing pants too tight, or too baggy,skirts too short or too snug,and for goodness sakes, don't be caught without underwear! For a man to find you interesting, he needs to look at you as a lovely package. Have your hair done nicely, understated make-up, and a lovely smile, smelling sweet,and wearing clothes appropriate for the situation. Remember that packages look pretty, and don't reveal anything until you take the wrapping off! Going to the office? Dress as though you are going to meet his family. Going clubbing? Even though your friends may dress scantily,there is nothing wrong with dressing up, in that little black dress,heels and a touch of jewelry. That says class, with a capital "K". Not going to a high class place? You'd rather play pool, or go bowling? Well, why not wear those comfortable jeans,with a very feminine blouse, and nice slip-on shoes,and do full make-up? Make the most of your assets, and down-play your flaws. Then, once you are all dressed and made up and ready to walk out the door,look at yourself in the mirror, and ask yourself this question: What can I take off, and still look nice? Most of us overdo it with the jewelry, so it is a good rule of thumb to take off one thing. If your wearing a matching earrings and necklace and bracelet, remove one of those. If there is anything that jangles, or can get caught on someone else's clothes, that should go. Even if you like the look of a ring on every finger, if your going out to find a guy, make sure your ring finger on your left hand is naked! Otherwise, he will assume you are taken, and keep right on walking. Look at yourself in the mirror with a cold steely eye. Don't run the risk of being taken for a circus horse,if you want to be some guy's cute little filly!

And finally, after reading this over, it occurs to me that you may be needing more than just motherly advice on how to dress to catch a man's eye. You may be wanting some serious re-enforcement of those standards you already know. A reminder that you are probably just fine the way you are, and it's alright just to be yourself, let your wonderful personality shine through. Because in the final analysis, nobody falls in love with a body and a face and the fashions they dress themselves up in. That is not enduring love, that is something else altogether, and it won't last. Oh yes, human beings can be shallow and thoughtless from time to time, and you may get the feeling that the parade is passing you by as all around you people are coupling up,and noone seems to be looking your way. But please, don't get desperate. Men seem to be able to smell desperate females a mile off,and will avoid them at all costs. Relax! Seek out friends who like to do what you like,and go places, and do things that make you happy,and don't worry about whether someone else is noticing you. Do that, and when you least expect it, he will find you. He will be another antique hound, or library fiend,or be just as nuts about flea markets as you are. He will be captivated by your smile and the sound of your laughter, and it won't matter to him if you aren't a scrawny runway model, or a fashion plate.

If anything I have said has helped you, please leave me a comment, or if I missed addressing your concern, leave me a comment about that too! I am more than happy to help!

OUI?

NEW FALL CATALOGS HAVE CORNERED THE MARKET, ON UGLY!!

As they do every year, the catalogs are jamming my mailbox, now in August, with their new fall fashions. I suppose I could stop them from being sent to me, but why? I rather enjoy thumbing through them while bored sitting on the throne,and every once in a while, I spot something I really like. It doesn't happen very often, but it does happen. I know women, and I am sure you do too, who go through catalogs, with an eye to see what they are going to add to their wardrobe.They order stuff all the time, and it's no big deal. I am not one of those women. I may see something I like, but I have a rule I go by. If I don't love it, I don't buy it. I have to absolutely love it,for the simple reason that I don't buy a lot of clothes. It is not one of my all consuming passions. So, whatever I do buy is going to have to last me for a long time,because I will wear my clothes until they are of no earthly use to anyone else on the planet,not even as a dust-rag! See, I am a tightwad. A penny-pincher. I find no delight in spending lots of money for silly stuff,that's other people's department, not mine. I suppose it all stems back to all those years of shopping for clothes, with and without Yon son, looking at everything available, and then buying everything for Yon son,and nothing for myself. I. Just. Couldn't. Do. It.  And. I still can't. So, if I have a need, eventually, I will break down and fill it, but only after I have found that thing that I love. Because, if I don't love it, I won't wear it. Yet, just like anybody else, I must clothe my body. It's an absolute necessity.So far I have three catalogs, and I have been through all three,and I've got to tell you, pickings are slim, friend. I am not taken aback. I expected as much. This years best is so far down on my list of things that I would wear,it is practically non-existent. I have found one shirt, one gown and robe set, one or two pairs of shoes/boots, and one cape. Oh! But what a cape! I love capes! I have been needing a new coat for about five years, but every year I just gave up looking about the time the snow flew,and thought, well, maybe next year. And this cape is the right cut, color and fit, and even has faux fur trim on the hood and the sleeve openings...okay, it's not quite perfect, because the fur trim is grey, but slight imperfections can be overlooked, considering that I won't probably find another cape even close to this one for another five years! So, I have looked at it,and looked at it, and even shown it to Yon son, and he agrees with me that I couldn't find any other cape at such a price, so it's pretty much official, I am going to get that cape! Maybe. So, that is the up side of the catalogs for this season, now, let's look at the down side.

In another catalog, again, there was very little to which I was attracted. Most of the clothes offered, had sort of weeds here, and weeds there, with things dangling down making the item appear messy and unappealing. Now, don't misunderstand me, I am all for feminine ruffles and fru-fru, when it is done well. But what I am talking about was not done well. Zippers that go nowhere,and a top with gathering to one side,with ribbons hanging down from the gather really looks like a mistake, not a fashion technique! Likewise, a dress with a skirt that has eight or nine ruffles going horizontally around the skirt, beginning with a tightly banded waist, with multiple colors, and then goes down from brown to gold to brown to tan and orange and turquoise,and then repeating the tan with ball-fringe on it, and ending in dark brown does not look festive to me, it looks like somebody couldn't make up their mind what color to make the skirt! Or else, they had a lot of stuff left over and decided to use it all up this way. What a mess!  But, what really upset me greatly was in about the middle of the catalog, where they ran this piece about three make-overs.They took three  women of their employees,and did what they called fall fashion updates. Complete with before and after pictures.To begin with, they looked okay. Not fashion plates by any means, but just normal looking ladies, wearing pants or jeans, and for the most part there wasn't a thing wrong with their looks.The way they were dressed was unremarkable, but there were no glaring flaws. One was average,and the other two were a bit overweight, but as I say, nothing glaring about any of them. The one lady they called Bonnie said she would like a makeover so she would have " that special dress for her up-coming son's wedding day" and in addition, she wanted to show off her recent weight loss,and find a look that "made her feel and look younger." The other two ladies had similar desires. On the flip side of the page, the results were shown in a picture with all three ladies grouped together,and when I saw what they had done to Bonnie, my heart just sank. They had fiddled with her hair,and the resultant style was worse than what she had started out with.She began with fluffy hair,and nice shiny bangs. What she ended up with was no bangs at all, and a drab lank nothing of a style that robbed her of her original cuteness.Gone were the boots, jeans and long shirt, and they had put her into one of those sleeveless black dresses with huge oddly colored flowers all over it, and a hemline that was up and down all over, as though it had been cut with a pair of enormous pinking sheers,and the bottom of the skirt hung in long pointy wisps, black here, pink and olive and grey there, all the way around. In addition, the hem(?) hit her about mid- calf. On the top part of her body, they had slung an ocher colored shrug that in no way matched her dress. My eyes stung taking in the sight. That poor woman. Instead of putting her in a lovely long dress that went nearly to the floor, or at least in a nice suit that had a straight hemline just at the knee, so she could show off her waist and the nice part of her legs, they put her in a horror that revealed only the worst part of her legs, large swollen ankles,and then stuck her feet into shoes that looked as though they had gone through a pencil sharpener! The overall effect was pitiful. Just pitiful. La pathetic.  Now, the other two women faired well. They both had long pants on,and  looked alright, but again, nothing that justified two days worth of styling tips and wardrobe changes. What slays me about the whole thing is, you would think that they would do their very best to make all three of those women to come out of this with a really smashing look,and go out of their way to make Bonnie look her very best. What they did was to take her least attractive points, and put them on display to the Nth degree,and when one sees that picture, that is all anyone can see!When I saw what they had done to her, I just sat there, staring, wondering why anyone would do this. With all the clothing and so forth at their disposal, why didn't  someone step in, and find Bonnie a nicer outfit, rather than allow her to come off as some sort of ragamuffin? That style did not suit her, as anyone who sees this picture would know, so why? And then, it hit me. On that full page picture, next to each figure was the information of where to find each component of their outfits. The dress, the shrug and the shoes, and what page they were on. This then, was the whole purpose of their magnanimous gesture. Not to do something generous and kind for the girls involved, but just to put the clothes  the company wanted to push on live people, to sell that stuff! Well, I'd say it jolly well back fired on them, then, didn't it? The picture proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that they had no intention from the very beginning to dress those women,and do make-up and hair according to the individuals body type, coloring and basic style. No! Under the pretense of a make-over, they used those women,and whomever did the makeovers did a very poor job, because they didn't know what they were doing! There were three outfits that needed filling,and they just threw the clothes at them, had someone else mess with their hair,and put some make-up on them,and called it good.

I have to give poor Bonnie credit though. If she felt the butt of a really mean joke,she still had the confidence to smile for the camera,head up, shoulders back, and appeared totally pleased with what they had done to her, God bless her.That takes character, and bravery.

Somebody give that girl an Oscar!

OUI?